Her Silence
by Captain Lynn the Lesbian
Summary: A modern Mikasasha AU. Two months left of her Senior year, Sasha Jaeger, wants to do the only thing she's been dying to do since she was a child. Confess her love to her adopted older sister Mikasa. Add past memories before life with her family, relationships of all variety and graduation leaving Sasha flustered. Will she get her girl? Read to find out. Rated M for later chapters.
1. Prologue

"_Childhood is not from birth to a certain age and at a certain age the child is grown, and puts away childish things. Childhood is the kingdom where nobody dies_."

- Edna St. Vincent Millay, 1937.

I only recall brief encounters of my childhood at least from five and under I don't recall.

Much.

I've seen doctors from the time I was eight to about the time I began my sophomore year in high school, I'm a Senior now, and after every assessment and every evaluation they all come with the same conclusion.

I simply suppressed them, my memories at least, but from time to time I catch glimpses of what life was like before them, before her, and I have to say they aren't for the faint of heart.

Who are her and them you ask?

Well _her _comes in the form of Mikasa Jaeger. She was the girl with the scarf who held me when she found my body bawled up in her family's barn all those years ago.

She didn't talk much and I'm pretty sure I freaked her out. I mean she was seven when she first saw me. Small, yet bigger than me, with long pretty black hair tucked into this ridiculously bright red scarf wearing a white nightgown with a brown coat. It wasn't until she got me to unwrap myself from my current position to shift myself on her lap to notice her eyes.

They weren't something I was ever use to seeing. Not blue or green nor brown, but the softest and most kindest of grey I had ever had the privilege to look at. My five year old self got lost in them for a time until voices called out for her startling me.

_Mikasa_, _Mikasa_ they called. A man and a woman whose voices blended together. Their worry shown as their voices rose in pitch.

I remember burrowing myself into her body. My small frame trying it's hardest to blend in with hers. I hadn't realized until much later that she held me tightly as I did so and that she kept telling me that I'd be fine that I was safe and that they wouldn't hurt me.

What made me remember all of that was how soft and yet strong her voice was, well strong enough a seven year old could have at least, as she began to rock me when the voices grew near.

Which brings us to _them_ coming in the form of Mr. and Mrs. Jaeger.

Grisha Jaeger, at the time, was an up and coming doctor, from what I learn later on anyways, and well his voice was rough compared to the contrast of his wife Kalura who hushed him as she eased closer to Mikasa and I.

I don't remember much else and they told me, years later, that after they found us in the barn I passed out _out _of lack of nutrition and fear. I had over exerted myself apparently coming a long way from where I was.

Which by the time I was ten discovered was an orphanage.

A heavily over populated one.

The first year with the Jaegers was a blur. The trauma of running from the orphanage and taking refuge in a barn does that to children at a young age so there is a year that I missed.

And then by the time I was seven it was like the lights where turned on and all was right with the world. I still had unusual _habits_. I would sleep walk and almost every night would be found in the kitchen eating whatever food my little hands could grab, but the Jaegers never had the heart to hurt me or take me away because of it and for that I was grateful.

Mikasa and I were close. After the lights where turned on for me I would do everything in my little power to make her smile which was a lot harder than people think. Even as a child Mikasa was stoic always hiding her face within that scarf of hers, but on rare occasions I got her to smile.

I wasn't sure what Grisha thought of me, except for a little patient to be tended to until years later, at the time he was wary but kind always making sure to keep an eye on my habits and record what he could about me. Karlura, who I began to call Mama, was very fond of me and my small frame. Often choosing to coddle me whenever Mikasa was off studying or not in the mood to be near me, though I've learned that Mama was actually quite pleased when I could bring Mikasa out of her shell.

By the time I was eight Mikasa began to address me more, verbally and physically, always at my side when I tried to do the things she did and would often get hurt in the process. I guess in all my persistence to be around her it had won her over and often she would fret over me as much as Mama, especially when I hurt myself and even more so when I started to recall events at the orphanage.

It happened around the time of her birthday towards the middle of winter in early February. We were struck with a terrible blizzard and somehow my memories resurfaced. I was told by a doctor, who was not Grisha mind you, that the blizzard could have been a trigger to something that happened to me.

The thought of what that was still causes my body to shudder even now and I rather not talk about it.

The only bright side to these horrific night terrors/memories was that Mikasa would opt to sleep in my bed. It happened after I came back from my week evaluation. I was whimpering in my sleep, or so she tells me, and Mikasa drags herself out of her bed and climbs into mine, we shared a room at the time, and would often hold me.

And so I had found comfort in knowing that every morning after I would wake up safe in her arms with the memories of the past behind me.

It continued on like that for two more years, our closeness, and everyday spent by her side brought me the utmost happiness. Everytime I saw her smile my way or find a reason to be near me caused a pull in my stomach, caused my heart to flutter uncontrollably and would overall make me ecstatic with an unknown feeling.

By the time I was eleven things _change_ in the form of _him_.

Him being Eren Jaeger who was about the same height and age as Mikasa. Papa and Mama had often mentioned him saying that he was special and therefore needed time away from them to grow. I often wondered to grow into what because when I first laid eyes on the boy I knew he was trouble. He was loud and often quick to show anger. At least whenever Mikasa tried to coddle him which she did almost every moment she saw him when he came home.

When his golden honey colored orbs, much like Mama's, landed on me he threw a fit.

"_Great another lousy mouth to feed_," he grumbled bitterly and somewhere along the lines of ,"_I thought stupid Mikasa was enough why the extra_!"

Needless to say my dislike for him, at the time, was very high. I remember shoving, lightly I may add, him after he brought up Mikasa's name which earned a rather hard push from Mikasa herself.

I remember looking up at her teary eyed. I remember her mixed broken expression. I remember running away then as the pain in my tiny little eleven year old chest grew. In the time frame I had known Mikasa I had grown to love her unconditionally and when she pushed me for defending her name it broke me.

I had gotten lost in the woods and wandered in them endlessly thinking this was it that this was the end of me. The only family I had _had_ wouldn't want me anymore now that Eren was there. That does some strange things to an eleven year old. Thinking you were going to die and the people who grew to be a family for you wouldn't want you anymore because of some rotten brat who didn't like sharing.

Part of me forgave Eren, at least for not liking me, I was a stranger in his home. Another part of me wished I really hurt him because of that push I got from Mikasa. I remember sitting down at the base of this big oak tree and due to exhaustion I fell asleep not caring about the darkness of the woods or about my safety. At the time I accepted my fate willingly.

Melodramatic and morbid as that was I had awaken the next morning in my room with a fever. Mama and Papa were hovering over me and Mikasa, Eren staring guiltily by our door, was not that far behind. Even though I was sick I was happy to be home in my bed with my parents and Mikasa near. Earlier thoughts of dying and being family-less were gone as I drifted off to sleep.

It was around the time of my twelfth birthday when I realized things between Mikasa and I would never be the same. She began to withdraw from me little by little. It started around the time Mama had said Eren would be staying with us for good. I didn't like the idea, but I was glad to be near Mikasa.

It was a repetitive day to day thing with me trying to gain her attention. I would do small gestures, do her chores, bring her books, ask her how she was, give her my food I had left over, anything and everything I could think of. Sometimes I would earn a small smile from her, which were small victories, and other times she would be as stoic as ever focusing on her studying and Eren, which were well you get the picture.

The only time I had her attention fully was when I was particularly rude to Eren or if I ended up hurting myself due to a mishap.

If I were rude to Eren she would, after him, say some rather harsh things herself to me in that soft voice of hers and when I would hurt myself she wouldn't say anything at all. She would just simply take care of my injury, being kind and attentive, and be off to do whatever she needed to elsewhere.

It pulled at my heart a lot so I did the only thing I could think of. By the time of my birthday I had asked Mama and Papa for one thing and one thing only.

A room to myself.

I figured with her withdrawing from me and the pain in my chest when I was near her that distancing myself would do the trick.

At first they didn't want to agree to that mentioning that whatever was going on between the two of us would sort itself out and all would be well again, but I was determined.

Now that I think about it I want to say it was out of spit and jealousy that my younger self had yet to have knowledge on that I was able to trick my parents into believing I was just as capable as Mikasa and Eren. That I was willing to grow on my own.

Papa being the man that he was agreed and helped me move out of the room I had shared with Mikasa for six years I had lived with them while she, Eren and Mama were away for two days.

By the time my room was finished Mama and the others came home. Part of me hoped that Mikasa would say something, anything, about me not being in there with her, but she never did.

Another part of me figured she wanted that to begin with so that night I curled into a ball trying my best to sleep in my new room on my own. I didn't and whatever part of me had hoped Mikasa would sense my discomfort and crawl into bed with me just to hold me was disappointed also.

For about three weeks into having my own room I didn't get much sleep and would lose focus on my studies. Papa was worried, so was Mama, but Papa would often ask me questions like 'how are you coping' and 'would you like to move back into your old room with your sister'.

I would just tell him I was fine and that Mikasa deserves her owe room without a childish kid to share it with. I remember being snappy with him but didn't realize that Mikasa was in the same room. I didn't know at the time why I acted that way until it hit me later.

I never thought of Mikasa as a sister my feelings, though still developing, were not sisterly at all.

Things began to improve for me around the time I was thirteen. I had gotten use to Mikasa's absence and gotten use to bumping into Eren whenever he was running away from her and honestly the two of us formed a bond when he realized she wouldn't come near me.

It was nice to have someone to laugh with, even though Eren was Mikasa's age and not mine, and I got to see a side of him that I'm sure is what Mikasa saw all the time. I could see why she was so adamant to be near him just so she could catch a glimpse like I did in those few moments of spending with him and as we drew near my birthday I was able to honestly say that I loved Eren as a brother.

Around that time also Papa had signed me up for extra curricular classes much like he and Mama had done for Eren and Mikasa.

No longer was I studying just the basics a child should know while gaining their education but I was also learning how to cook, sow, self defense, weapons control and archery.

As soon as I started to cook and sow it was apparent that of the two I was well versed in cooking but could not sow to save my clothes.

As for self defense I was persistent on learning boxing and mixed martial arts separately from the older two. Mama didn't quite like the idea but Papa came to my aid agreeing that I needed to be in an environment where I wasn't being compared to either Eren or Mikasa and that I'd be able to focus. Which I was even more grateful to have when I started out because I loved every minute of it and gained two friends, Jean Kristen and Ymir Lockhart.

Both would often tease me for separate reasons but I knew in my heart I wouldn't trade them for the world.

Weapons control was a two hour session and honestly I hated it. I was stuck with Mikasa, who was still ignoring me, and I was always compared to her. Often our instructor would point out where Mikasa excelled I would screw up. I didn't have the heart to quit even though I wanted to. Papa would be disappoint in me and even though on the outside I didn't like it my heart would swell every time I was near her.

Which left me with my last activity Archery. It was a one on one session that lasted for about an three hours. The teacher was Mama, which was a shock at first, but I was grateful and ever the attentive student. My first day learning Mama had called me a natural because I landed three bullseye and then offhandedly she comments that she wished Eren and Mikasa would learn a thing or two from me. I didn't say anything but I knew I was glowing in her praise and were I lacked with other weapons I had showed marksmanship with a bow and arrow.

For a time I was homeschooled as well, from seven to thirteen, and by the time I was fourteen I able to go to public school like the others.

It was an experience.

My first year in high school was interesting. Since having spent a whole year in my boxing slash mixed martial arts class I already knew Jean and Ymir who stayed by my side the whole day mentioning that a sheltered girl like me would have a culture shock.

Honestly, the only culture shock I had was at lunch time when I was munching on a baked potato Mama had graciously packed for me to take to lunch and this bald headed boy who was trying to gain my attention slapped the yummy spud out of my reach calling me Potato girl and well no one messes with my food so I punched him only to discover that _that _was against school rules, hitting people, and landed myself in the principle office.

I didn't get into any trouble after the bald headed boy, Connie Springer, admitted it was his fault for harassing me.

The next day however I had gain the nickname Potato Girl and a wide variety of tales were spun behind that name.

Some more pleasant than others.

Though I didn't like it I never corrected anyone sticking to this mask of utmost happiness and blunt honesty. Connie later in the year became one of my friends and thus became the Sasha, Jean, Ymir and Connie show and then later Armin Arlert showed up, a blonde haired girl in our year. Ymir was smitten with her, but I could tell that Armin didn't feel the same.

Mikasa and Eren both attended school with me and already had their own reputation. Thanks to that also made it more difficult for me when it came to the teachers. They were hoping that the youngest Jaeger would follow in the older girl's footsteps though many believed I would be another Eren passing barley with a B to C average.

It bothered me a lot and though I wish I rebelled I still wanted to strive. Not being another Eren or even Mikasa but to be myself. I managed to keep an A/B average which pleased all my Freshman teachers who boasted that another Mikasa will be gracing this school with her knowledge.

But unlike her I was loud and clumsy. Sure I had good grades I worked for them, but I had to make a statement. I wasn't Mikasa Jaeger I was, and still am, Sasha Jaeger and I won't be in anyone's shadow no matter how much I love them.

Summer had came along with my birthday and no longer was I this tiny little thing. I was now fifteen, standing about five foot four the same height as Armin, with a nice toned body and curves. My hair, though often trimmed, settled nicely to the middle of my back, but thanks to boxing and mixed martial arts I was already in the habit of keeping it in a pony tail. I no longer had night terrors and therefore no longer felt the need to be seen by doctors unless it was for an illness or physical injury.

Mama would always comment on my appearance saying she was proud of the young woman I was turning into. Which pleased me knowing she was proud. I had already discovered the curse of being a woman at the age of twelve, but now I was a pro at knowing my body and taking care of it.

Before school started back up Papa made the offhanded remark about the birds and the bees. I was well versed in knowing about that, though due to embarrassment didn't have the heart to tell him how, as he told me about men and women. I remember excusing myself afterwards to hide out in my room. My thoughts had drifted back to when Ymir and Jean would talk about encounters of the same sex variety and well needless to say that night I had my first sexual dream about a girl with black hair hovering over me and well I couldn't be anywhere near Mikasa at all from then on. Not that we were ever near each other much to begin with.

Luckily school provided an excellent distraction. A new student had arrived in the form of Christa Reiss. She was small, about four foot nine, and quite beautiful really. Femininity just basked off her in waves and I noticed she became quite popular in just days of showing up to our school. Ymir was practically smitten with her and I had thought sadly that this would be another Armin thing. Ymir wasn't the only one smitten with her though star quarterback Reiner Braun also had his sights set on Christa and for a time would often argue with Ymir for Christa's attention.

From the sidelines I could tell that Bertholdt Fubar wasn't quite keen on the idea and would storm off whenever Reiner would go anywhere near Christa. For a little while I thought Bert Boy had a thing for Christa as well until I noticed his eyes never left Reiner and well it pulled at my heart because I knew how he felt.

Around winter time everything threw itself into a loop. A lot of people where becoming couples. It first happened when the biggest flirt in school, my best friend for that matter, Jean Kristen walked down the hallway hand in hand with, a young man in the same year as Eren and Mikasa, Marco Botts. Ymir had finally won Christa over and the two were quite happy together despite Reiner and everyone else's general dislike for Ymir.

Eren was pursuing Armin to everyone's surprise. The two made a wonderful looking couple, but Armin wasn't quite so pleased with the idea of dating an older boy knowing that Eren would leave after next year. She was surprised that I remained friends with her after she rejected him. I couldn't fault her for how she felt so we left it at that.

Other people had made confessions and becoming couples which, after winter break, did not surprise me that Connie had asked me to go on a date with him. He was highly nervous when he asked me and though out of spite I wanted to say "yes" I did not have the heart to do it. So I told him the truth, not my feelings for Mikasa that was something I'd take to the grave, about only thinking of him as a brother. It hurt his feelings yes and for a time he avoided me but he came around saying he would rather have me as a friend that not have me at all.

Mikasa never dated or showed interest in anyone. I always told myself it was because she was focused on studying and Eren.

And since Eren had his sights set on Armin, even long after her rejection, I knew that the two would never become more than whatever they were.

Since I knew I could never be with Mikasa I stuck to loving her from afar. I did from time to time continued to do my small gestures. I was never in the same room as her though, save for dinner and when we had weapons control, so I never knew how she reacted to them. Part of me knew a small smile would grace her features and for me that was enough, at least to hope for.

When summer arrived I opted for a change of scenery. Since becoming friends with Christa we planned to visit her family's farm, which was a town away, and for the next two months I had stayed with her. To Ymir's dismay because she and her family had places to be the whole summer and I was the one spending time with _her _girlfriend.

It was nice to be away. I still longed for Mikasa though no matter how many times I told myself it would never work. That she only saw me as a distraction, a burden and possibly only thought of me as her kid sister like Eren did. Which always seemed to eat at me most nights and that I'd lose sleep over. Not that Christa knew she was usually on the phone with Ymir cheering her up. Their happiness was my salvation and for a time I could be happy too until I was alone with nothing but my feelings and thoughts.

As much fun as it was to be away we returned and I was flooded with kisses from Mama as she kept saying how much she missed her baby. Eren would tease me about it and Papa would smile patting me on the head. Mikasa surprised me the most though upon my returning by giving me a hug and welcoming me back. I knew it was to save face in front of our parents, but I still sagged into her body anyway holding on to her relishing in her warmth because I knew it was the only chance I was given.

When I felt her body stiffen I let go telling her I was sorry and excused myself to my room saying my clothes weren't going to unpack themselves. It was a small moment but I saw Mikasa turn to say something to me, but she stopped herself and went about her business. I smiled anyways and said in a whisper as I ventured off to my room.

_I missed you too_.

Junior year was much like the last.

Uneventful.

The couples that had become so were still going strong. Though Reiner did try to break Ymir and Christa up, which didn't work thanks to my help. Connie and I were still great friends for that I was grateful as we complained about all the lovey doveiness.

My grades remained in the A/B category and all my teachers commented that they were all proud to see me be among the top ten of my grade much like Mikasa who was for four years in a row. Only she was first in her grade and I ranked second in mine for three consecutive years thanks to Armin for being ranked first.

Armin had agreed to one date with Eren. Who kept asking until she said yes and though she did not want to admit it she had the time of her life. I was happy for my brother to see him get a chance with the girl he had feelings for as I, just as always, only admired mine from afar.

Much to my delight however Mikasa never dated. Even after countless confessions she would simply and politely shoot them down. I never had the nerve to ask her why though.

Before I knew I was sitting on the bleachers with my parents watching the seniors one by one accept their diplomas and much to their dismay Mikasa did not say anything when asked to give a speech pushing Marco, who ranked second, up to the microphone her silent way of telling him he deserved it.

It struck me then knowing that even though she worked her hardest she would willingly give it up to someone she was certain who worked just as hard. It made me admire her all the more and love her just as deeply.

I was in to deep anyways to begin with.

They stayed for a month after as Eren babbled on and on about the college they would be going to which was an hour away from here. I had already sank into a strong depressed feeling by then. They were leaving already considered adults and I would hardly seem them once school started back up. I was more depressed by the fact that things remained the same with Mikasa and I. Eren of course I would miss, he was my big brother despite everything, but it was breaking everything in me knowing that I'd miss Mikasa more.

Two weeks before they would depart Mikasa had surprised me on afternoon by standing in my doorway. I hadn't really noticed because I was cleaning my room so I wasn't sure how long she stood there, but by the time I was ready to go into my bathroom Mikasa, awkwardly, cleared her throat and for the first time in years she spoke directly to me without any hostile words laced in them.

I stopped mid stride and turned my head to look at her. She still wore that ridiculous red scarf, I found out by Mama that Eren had given it to her, so I couldn't quite make out what she was trying to say at first. So I asked her kindly to speak up.

"_May I come in_," she repeated with a huff looking away from me. Her cheeks held a faint blush to them which excited me though I kept myself in check because she was often like that when she was in a state of discomfort or nervous. I chose the latter nodding my head with a kind smile as I turn around completely to face her.

_Sure. _

I tell her and once she was in my room she took a seat on my bed looking at her hands.

For the next five minutes my room was filled with silence. She never once broke contact from her hands and I, not knowing what to say, shifted every so often on my feet.

I thought she wasn't going to say anything but was soon enough I was startled, slightly, when she offhandedly told me that my room looked nice with that ever stoic expression of hers. I thanked her right away which made her look at me. I couldn't quite read her expression and nearly jumped when she moved from her position from my bed to stand, four paces, in front of me.

At the time I was two inches shorter than her, standing at five foot five, so I craned my neck slightly so that our eyes were locked. My heart nearly burst when she told me she was sorry for what she did all those years ago and for leaving me alone. Her face was masked of course, but her eyes could never really lie to me so I smiled telling her it was water under the bridge.

She mentioned that she wanted us to be close like we use to be. So that way Eren wouldn't have to avoid her as often as he did and realize that we could all be a family like we should be.

Though the words twisted at my stomach and heart painfully I nodded my head. Mikasa wasn't the only one that was able to use a mask so I smiled telling her that I liked that.

So for those two weeks we spent them together, all of us when Eren was around.

Mama and Papa were quite pleased with this development and even though it wasn't much it was more than I'd ever get so I accepted it with all the happiness that I could really muster.

But like all good things those two weeks ended.

Eren was blubbering like a baby this time much to everyone's delight. Mama coddled him and Papa patted Mikasa on the shoulder asking her to keep an eye on her brother which she agreed to with no problem. I hugged Mikasa first, it was brief, I didn't want to indulge in any more contact knowing that it would hurt me more than help me. I smiled at her surprised expression telling her good luck before I turned to Eren hugging him longer than intended as he cried on my shoulder. I told him it was going to be okay that he'd like college and he'd only be an hour away.

He asked me to tell Armin that he wouldn't forget her, that little shit right? Then after he wiped his eyes told me that he loved me and even though when we were younger he was a little shit to me he's was glad I stumbled into his family when I did. I wiped the tears from my eyes before they could fall and lightly jabbed him in the arm telling him that I loved him too.

Mama and Papa were going to take them to their college to help them settle in and I opted to stay home to avoid anymore water works. They had yet to leave though when I excused myself to my room telling everyone that I need to start on my summer homework.

I was half way through my door when I was spun around and embraced in an almost bone crushing hug by Mikasa.

I guess she didn't like the brief one I gave her.

I stood there tense for a good long moment bewildered by her behavior but chose to think nothing of it. Not wanting to hope for more than what was given. I wrapped my arms around her neck pulling her tighter to me.

We stood there like that until Mama had called for her. I unwrapped my arms from her quickly but Mikasa seemed almost reluctant to let me go.

"_I'll make sure to write you_," she tells me then as she removes her arms from around my waist. I tell her I'd like that and that I'll make sure to write her back. Before I know it she was down the hall descending from the stairs and a faint click told me that she was gone.

I bite my bottom lip to stop from crying out as I turned to go into my room. I pause though when I notice a wore out black teddy bear sitting neatly by my pillow. Upon moving closer I realized it was a Christmas present I had given to Mikasa when I was nine. I told her that it reminded me of her.

_But why would she leave me this ol' thing_?

I thought as I picked up the bear holding it gentle to my chest. It couldn't have been by accident because Mikasa was never the forgetful type. A thought stuck me then, my heart hammering in my chest, she must have wanted me to have something to remember her by.

For a moment I allowed myself to indulge in the idea that she loved me the same way too. Which made me sink into my bed as I cried my eyes out clinging to that bear as all the pent up emotions within me spilled out.

_What if she loves me too?_

Summer had finished quickly for me with Eren and Mikasa gone. My summer homework finished and turned in the first week landing me for a change in the first ranked position. I guess that Armin didn't take it to well with Eren being gone, but I had told her that he wouldn't forget her. I guess that did the trick because three weeks later we were back to being neck and neck with our grades.

I wasn't as cheerful as I usually was though which caused my group of friends to worry until well into the second month of school Mikasa wrote to me and thus became our back and forth thing of telling each other how things were.

I found happiness in knowing she thought of me too.

Fast forwarding to around now.

I have two months left of high school and was given good news from Mama. A break was presented to Eren and Mikasa, and the other college students, which allowed them to come visit us. I was excited to be seeing them to be seeing _her_.

Because half way through my Senior year I realized since we weren't related and since my feelings never morphed into anything relatively sisterly and with the little hope that Mikasa felt the same I was going to finally tell her how I feel.

I was at school that day they came home. My happiness was genuine throughout the entire day and I was just a bundle of nerves.

Since they left I managed to grow another inch I was now almost as tall as Mikasa which made me feel better knowing that and I towered over Eren.

I didn't see Mikasa when I came home however I did manage to bump into a short blonde with sharp blue eyes. I didn't know who she was nor did I ask out of fear she would hurt me, which was silly since I could defend myself, and that maybe she was a friend of Eren's or Mikasa's.

I gave the blonde a quick apology as I ran to my room. The thought of her being Mikasa's friend gave me an odd feeling in my guts.

I didn't like it.

Mama had called me to dinner about an hour later. It was interesting enough at our seating positions. Papa as always sat at the head of the table Mama to his right. Armin had stopped by along with Jean to visit me and Mama roped them into staying for dinner being the hostess that she is.

So to Papa's left I sat, then Mikasa, the blonde who I found out was named Annie sat by her, Eren sat by Mama with Armin beside him across from Annie, the two kept glancing at each other, and Jean sat at the end.

Mama had asked how Mikasa and Annie met.

Neither spoke not even when Eren shouted that the two were _dating_.

I tensed.

So the blonde, Annie, I nearly knocked over in my excitement to see and finally tell Mikasa how I feel was not her friend at all, but her _girlfriend_.

I felt the excitement drain from me. My heart drifting to my stomach making the desire to eat nonexistent. I was never known to not eat my meals and I was always the one to happily call for seconds and thirds, but in that moment food seemed off putting.

Much like sitting next to Mikasa.

I stood then taking everyone by surprise.

I smiled dismissing their worried expressions, save for Annie who looked bored, I excused myself saying that I needed to be studying and thanked Armin and Jean for visiting me.

Mama and Papa looked at me funny but I simply smiled telling them more was expected of me since I was still ranked first. I heard Armin mumble her agreement as she stood also along with Jean.

I guess the two didn't feel right staying knowing that I'd be in my room. They went with me into the kitchen and after we cleared and cleaned our plates we hugged. I thanked them again for stopping by and then went to my room ignoring the looks from the dinner table as I went.

I didn't have the heart to look in their direction without breaking down into pathetic little sobs. I didn't cry until much later into the night actually.

Telling myself that's what I get for hoping.

_Auther's notes_**: And end scene.**

**Now I have stated on my Tumblr account that this will be at least twenty or so chapters, and it will. This is just the prologue to allow everyone the feel of Sasha. To know where Sasha is coming from and see the various stages of her growing up.**

**I also threw in other pairings. **

**Ymir/Christa, Jean/Marco, Eren/ Female Armin( briefly), and Mikasa/Annie.**

**There is a method to my madness and I hope I have gained some attention with this story. I plan on making this first person through Sasha's eyes as she goes through her last few months of high school, preparing for summer, her birthday and the rocky effects of her love for Mikasa.**

**As I've mentioned on Tumblr this is going to be a Mikasasha story. It'll be eventual and I have no plans to break Mikasa and Annie apart anytime soon even if it isn't one of my pairings.**

**Since this is an AU I've changed a few things such as everyone's ages, Armin's gender, Eren's height ( I've made him five foot five) and of course the setting.**

**I'll be featuring more SnK characters as the chapters progress and would like to point out there will be a Female Levi. I saw a genderbent picture with Levi having long black hair and having it shaved on the sides and it looked rad so yeah inspiration came there.**

**It should be more detailed next chapter as we go through the motions with Sasha as she **

**Anyways disclaimers are as followed I do not own the characters of SnK/ Attack on Titans, but this story they are participating is stemmed off of my own creative flare.**

**Until next time, **

**Cap'n Lynn.**

**P.s I'm looking into trying office so soon I won't have to worry about the mishaps and misuse of grammar. Until then all mistakes are of my own doing.**


	2. Heavy

"_I was a heavy heart to carry my beloved was weighed down. My arms around his neck my fingers laced to crown_."

- Heavy In Your Arms by Florence + the Machine.

**Chapter One: Heavy**.

It had been two days since Eren, Mikasa and her _girlfriend _Annie had showed up, and in those two days I had purposely avoided them.

I know it seems selfish to be the way I am. Sure I feel guilty because since they've been back Mikasa has _tried_ to get me to participate in family events, but I kept shooting the offers down, gently of course, mentioning that Finals were coming up soon and maintaining my GPA.

None of it was bullshit though because Senior year finally provided itself to be a challenge.

Not that I'm complaining I like it, a challenge I mean, and since it wasn't lying I didn't feel bad at the time save for the disappointment clouding over in Mikasa's eyes when we do see each other.

Luckily, at the moment, I do not have to gaze into those sad grey irises of hers because it's Friday and that means I'm currently sitting in my fifth period class reading over this test I just finished for Pre Cal.

I'm pretty sure I aced it so I just place the paper down and look at the clock.

I have three minutes left of class and then I'm leaving for the day. Normally there are eight periods total, but since I've become a Senior and have made a hefty amount of credits I only stay for five class periods and then have the rest of the day to do anything I want.

_And at the moment all I want to do is avoi_ -

The bell rings and I push my thoughts back as I stand up collecting my belongings and walk over to the teacher's desk handing my test in with a smile.

"Ah Miss Jaeger how did you think you did?"

I glance at my teacher, Mr. Cullens, who gave me an almost leering grin. With everything in my being to keep myself from shuddering in disgust as I kept my smile intact shrugging lightly, "I'm pretty sure I aced it."

"Ah," he smiles wider as he glances over my work, "I've heard from the other faculty members about your sister being gifted and I believe you are equally so," he bats his eye lashes at me then, "and even more so beautiful."

I bite the inside of my cheek as I straighten my posture setting a heavy glare his way, which startled him. He's a new teacher, young and easy on the eyes which is what almost every girl and guy thinks anyways, but he's a creep. Though he tries to be subtle he has tried time and time again to use flattery on me. Usually I ignore it, but now he's mention Mikasa and I'm not having any of that.

"Firstly Mr. Cullens," I begin evenly, "my _sister _is far more intelligent and beautiful than I'll ever be," he flinched at my tone, "secondly you've been doing this the whole school year and it needs to stop before I report you for sexual misconduct," I notices his tension as he starts to glare at me but I wasn't finished, "I thought I'd make this clear to you now I'm not in any way interested. You're a teacher one who is suppose to guide not prey upon your students because you can't find a woman who wants to sleep with you."

I don't wait for him to say anything as I turn to walk out the classroom only to pause, at the door "oh and if you think to fail me because I won't fall for your advances I'll have a word with the principle."

And with that I was on my merry way.

I managed to make it to my locker and open it when.

"Potato Wedge," a very loud and semi annoyed Ymir yells out causing me to flinch.

"What do you want Freckles," I call out from the inside of my locker recovering from that flinch with a snicker as I picture her fully annoyed face.

"Oi, don't you be sassy with me Missy where the hell have you been."

It's not a question but a demand. That's just how Ymir does things though save for when she is sweet and timid around Christa.

Yes you hear me right Ymir has a sweet and timid side stop the presses!

I think it's kinda cute.

"I've been around," I tell her vaguely as I close my locker door hoisting my bag over my shoulder, "why?"

"Bullshit don't give me that," she scoffs, "you haven't been to the Dojo in two days and have been locked up in that room of yours."

"You know I have to study to mant -"

"Like I said bullshit 'Tato," she cuts me off giving me this lazy grin as she narrows her eyes at me, "I think it has something to do with your sister's girlfriend what's her name Annie isn't?"

I tense locking my jaw into place as I gaze at Ymir. She's baiting me trying to get me to say something that I shouldn't so I relax myself as quickly as I can casting this mask of indifference into my features as I smile at her.

"How do you know about Annie," I ask keeping any bitterness away as I say the blonde's name, "did Armin fill you and Christa up on that or Jean?"

"Neither," she shrugged grin still intact, "I didn't even know Armin knew anything about Annie and Jean was with me when they were sparring."

"Sparring?"

That got my attention which caused Ymir to raise her brow.

"Yeah that little blonde sure is something I'm even iffy on taking her."

"Oooooooua," I cooed as I look at her playful mockingness set in my tone, "big bad Ymir scared to take on a little blonde?"

"Watch it you," she growls playfully as she slings her arm around my shoulder, "I can still whoop your ass and I said iffy I happen to like my face."

I rolled my eyes tapping her arm with the hand not holding onto my bag, "right you're just saying that because Christa happens to like your face."

"You're damn right," she smirks, "and why wouldn't she I'm a sexy beast."

I laugh full and heartily as we begin to walk out the building. I'm sure Ymir has a class and I'm even more so positive it's not with Christa so she's gonna skip.

"Are you gonna show up today or am I gonna have to break into your home and drag you all the way there?"

I hum for a minute and smile when I see Eren's car in the school parking lot.

"Sas?"

"I'll think about it," I say simply as I remove Ymir's arm from my shoulder, "if I have nothing else going on I will," I plant myself in place as I look at her, " are you skipping today?"

Ymir laughs and gave me this 'duh' expression like it was the dumbest question I ever asked and honestly it was I should have known by now.

"Right," I sigh as I walk over to the black beat up '67 Charger without a second thought.

"See ya Potato," Ymir shouts as she heads the opposite way to god knows where.

Before I climb into the car I turn around giving Ymir the finger causing her to laugh out as she waves. Even now though I wouldn't trade our friendship for the world.

I then climb into the car without looking at the driver, "Sorry Eren," I apologize quickly as I sit my book bag down in front of me, "Ymir was being her usual insufferable self and I got caught up."

"Sorry to disappoint you," a soft voice answered causing me to stiffen in my seat, "but Eren is with Mother grocery shopping and let me borrow his car to get you."

"O-oh I see," I stammered as I hastily put on my seat belt keeping my eyes fixed ahead, "where's Annie?"

I waited a beat which lead to three before the car moved from it's parking spot when she decides to exhale a breath I spare a glance.

The first thing I notice is her hair is shorter, no longer past her shoulders the length stopped mid neck, and she isn't wearing her scarf. The hair was one thing I think it suits her personally, but the scarf? Mikasa wasn't one to not wear it and as I scan through my memory banks I've never seen her without it.

"I like your hair cut," I told her offhandedly as I looked back at the road. I knew if I mentioned the scarf it could possibly cause a commotion between us and honestly I was not ready for that.

"Annie went to see her parents," Mikasa finally answered however, "she'll be back in an hour though because we'll be heading to the Dojo."

I nod my head.

"Thank you," she adds airly after a pause when we come to the first stop sign, "I do miss my long hair but Eren thought it was best I cut it."

I roll my eyes as I relax into the passenger seat. Of course if that idiot told her to do something she'd do it. I remember that one time he told her to jump down from this branch that was a good ten feet off the ground and she did it fracturing her left ankle and femur.

"Remember when he told you to jump off that branch," I say after the thought before shaking my head, "least this looks decent and not painful."

My heart squeezes painfully when I hear a faint chuckle knowing I've made her laugh.

I nearly jump when she grabs my hand interlacing our fingers. She gives my hand a light squeeze before removing her hand placing it back on the steering wheel.

"Sorry," she says a moment later as we come to the second stop sign, "I've missed you and I've hardly seen you since I've been home."

That guilty feeling is creeping up on me as I sigh.

"It's fine," I tell her with a small smile,"just been stressed out with Finals, a pervy teacher, Jean and Ymir's flirtatious manners, and graduation is around the corner."

From my peripheral vision I see the corner of her eye twitches as she grips on the steering wheel tighter.

"What class," she asks in this hard steely kind of tone, "nevermind what teacher?"

"I took care of it," I shrugged nonchantedly keeping my gaze forward, "I'm sure I got the messaged across to him so no biggie."

I see her open her mouth to say something but she clamps her mouth shut and for the rest of the ride home she speeds. We take the whindy hills route and speeding does not feel comfortable. I don't say anything though as one thought comes to me.

_I wonder why she's upset_?

x

We make it home in one piece. As soon as she parks I thank her quickly and run for the door.

As much as I loved being around her and the light conversation we had before she got upset I needed to clean my room and get my gym bag ready.

After twenty minutes spent organizing my clothes I went and took care of my bathroom. It took me awhile when I first moved in this room to notice that the extra door led to a small bathroom with a working sink, toilet and shower. To my delight when I was younger because it meant I no longer had to share the bathroom with Eren and Mikasa.

Now I find it bothersome when I have to clean it. Don't get me wrong I'm not a messy person I actually pride myself in keeping not only my person but my entire area cleaned as well, but something about having to scrub a toilet and shower just seems so _auuuugh_ if you know what I mean.

The task takes about forty minutes total and when I'm done I remove my gloves, throw them in the bucket and exit my bathroom with a content sigh until I look up freezing in place.

Mikasa is sitting on my newly made bed.

_Mikasa is sitting on my newly made bed. _

**Mikasa is sitting on my newly made bed.**

I think my heart just stopped and I'm gawking. This is weird this is so unbearably weird.

Luckily she hasn't noticed me as I look at her, taking in her posture. She is sitting on the edge, her legs neatly tucked underneath her, while she holds onto the bear she left me. I swallow a shaky breath as I straighten up.

"Oh, Mikasa," I say surprising her and myself with how smooth my voice comes out, "I didn't notice you there do you need something?"

She recovers from her shock to look at me and then down at the bear, "you really kept it."

"A-ah," I stammer out not quite grasping, "you left it in my room didn't you for me to watch over?"

She nods her head and stands placing the bear down on my bed neatly as she did.

"Yes," her voice, soft as always, answers, "I thought I wouldn't need it for where I was going."

I nod taking a moment as my thoughts whirling as I look at her and then the bear.

"Would you like it back now that you're home?"

"I," she hesitates, "I think it's best you keep it," she says almost reluctantly as she looks up at me, "you sleep with it don't you?"

"Yes," I answer as heat rushes to my cheeks, "it helps me when I..."

I don't have the heart to finish that sentence. I don't want her to think less of me if she knew I still have nightmares and the bear helped me cope because it had her scent, faint vanilla and rainfall, it eased away my fears.

She nods her head as I look around my room. A small smile forms on my lips when I spot a stuffed fox under my pillow. I walk over to it feeling Mikasa's curious gaze as I do so and when I stop in front of the animal I pick it up timidly turning to face her.

"Remember this ol' thing," I ask as I present it to her with a smile, "you got me this when I around eight as a welcome to the family gift."

"You still have it," surprised mixed into her voice though her expression was unreadable, "I thought..."

She lightly takes the stuffed animal from my hands a small smile adorns her whole face. This was new for me, being able to see her face fully, and in that moment warmth spread over me. I swallow the lump in my throat slightly as I rock back on my heels providing some distance between us. Just so I wouldn't do anything stupid.

Mikasa looks up at me then raising one of her brows as she looks at me. I smile at her easily as I glance down at the fox she gave me and then back up at her face.

"Keep it," I say finally, "that way it's a fair trade I hold onto your bear and you hold onto my fox."

She goes to say something, words almost tumble out of her mouth, as she goes to take a step towards me only to pause when someone clearing their throat stops her and startles me.

"I'm back," the monotone voice of Annie calls out from my door, "so is your mother and brother."

I lock eyes with Mikasa's for a moment as she composes herself. Her expression hardens into this stoic mask and it breaks my heart as I see it happen. I straighten up then as well when she takes a step away from me turning to see Annie giving me a view of the short blonde.

If I thought my heart was breaking from the way her face changed than it should be nothing more than dust in the wind now because there at my door way stands Annie with Mikasa's scarf draped around her shoulders. Her eyes were locked on Mikasa who was now staring at her.

I clear my throat as I feel something quite appalling boiling in my gut. It breaks their little staring contest as they both look at me.

"You two should get going," I say smiling sweetly ignoring the ugly feeling gripping at me as I look at Mikasa, "you mentioned once she came back you would be headed to the Dojo."

Mikasa said nothing she's just staring at me, I guess she is comprehending my words, so I keep my smile intact. I can feel Annie staring at me like she is assessing something. To my delight I hear the familiar sounds of Eren stomping up the stairs and that dissolves the tension in the room.

"Guys," he says rather loudly before stopping besides Annie, "oh you're all in here," he shakes his head as he looks at Mikasa rather annoyed, "weren't we going to the Lockhart Dojo today or are we lazing about?"

"We're going," Mikasa answers as she stares at him.

Eren relaxes a moment before looking over at me with a smile, "hey sis you coming along?"

I look at him ignoring the looks from Mikasa and her girlfriend as I do. My cheeks are starting to hurt from smiling so much, "Sure," I answer with ease, "Ymir asked me if I was going to earlier I just need to get my bag ready."

"Cool," he breathes out with an easy smile, "you're gonna need a ride huh?"

"Are all of you planning to take your car," I ask as I keep my gaze locked onto him and when he nods I sigh, "I'm gonna walk it's not that far from home."

"Are you nuts," he shouts, his normal excessive self, as he looks at me, "you can't be serious mom would have a cow, like a literal cow," he flails his arms as he looks at Mikasa, "Mik tell her she's riding with us!"

I flick my amused gaze from him to look at Mikasa who is now facing me. She goes to say something but I hold up my hand to look back at Eren.

"If it bothers you that much I'll take the bike."

Eren and Mikasa look confused and Annie looks so bored out of her mind I almost feel sorry for her.

_Almost_.

"What bike since when do we have a bike?"

I shrug my shoulder a moment before speaking, "it was a gift anyways I'll meet you guys there."

Eren clamps his mouth shut swallowing his resort as he leaves my room to go get ready. I almost loss it however when Annie walks into my room throwing the scarf around Mikasa's neck pulling her down so that their lips met.

I notice the way Annie looks at me when she does it. Almost like she's taunting me and personally I want to throttle her.

I clear my throat sharply, the ugly feeling intensifying, as I wait for them to break apart. Once they do Mikasa looks at me almost startled. I exhale quickly regaining my baring.

"Not that I don't mind you two kissing I'd like to say my room and the part of the hallways joining my room is off-limits," my voice is not kind or warm as I say this but I don't care, "so if you two intend to lock lips do so not in my presence and you two should also get ready like now."

I ignore Mikasa's confused expression as she wraps her scarf around her neck properly and I nearly scream when Annie smirks at me as she takes Mikasa's free hand taking her attention from me as she tugs her out of my room.

Once they're gone I do my breathing exercise that I learned from one of my doctors when I was a child to help me whenever I felt panic-y after a night terror. I'm using it for a completely different reason now, but for the most part it's helping.

After my breathing is in check I grab my bag, I packed everything I needed earlier, slipping into the strap so that it went across my body like a seat belt as the bag was nestled on my lower back.

I exit my room then closing my door softly as I walk down the stairs. I enter the kitchen moments later with a smile when I see Mama getting everything ready for supper later.

"Ah there you are," she says happily as she looks up from slicing up potatoes, "your brother, sister and Annie are about to leave Eren mentioned you'll be taking the bike?"

"Yes," I breathe out cheerfully as go to get the keys, which were on the counter inside the cookie jar, "you and Papa got it for me so why not drive it around more."

"Sasha," Mama says momentarily as she finishes the last potato, "are you purposely avoiding your siblings because Mikasa is dating a girl?"

"No," I answer automatically, "I've just been busy with school you know that Mama," I sigh then before smiling to look at her, "I have no problem with Mikasa's sexual preference and half the time I feel like Eren would have been the one to come out if he didn't like Armin so much."

"Alright," Mama chuckles as she gets to work chopping up carrots now, "I just wanted to make sure your father is having a harder time coping but it's only because Annie is so much like your sister it bothers him."

I wanted to disagree with her. I wanted to point out the many differences between them, but I didn't know Annie and the only thing I did know was that I just disliked her. So I nodded my head as I headed towards the garage.

"I'll be back later," I call out over my shoulder, "love you Mama!"

"I love you too my sweetheart," she sings out as I shut the door.

My mood seemed to improves well it always did when I hear Mama tell me she loves me too. I make my way over to the table to grab my helmet, it's one of those cool motorcycle helmets with the mask on it, I quickly slip it on as I hit the button opening the garage.

Once it's completely open I see that retreating form of Eren's Charger and I can't help but smile. He thought I'd be peddling my ass all the way there.

If only.

I look down at my white cromo painted 2010 Honda CBF1000 a smile, though hidden under my helmet, graced my face as the steady flow of adrenaline begins to courses through me. I mount the bike placing the key into the ignition giving it a roar of life as I grip the handles. I don't do the classic burn out instead I just hit the accelerate and with a jolt my ride kicks out of the garage and before I know it the house it out of view and I'm speeding along catching up at least ten minutes later to Eren.

Unlike Mikasa my brother is far more cautious on these roads. I honestly don't blame him, but since I'm on my bike I decide that his speed just isn't doing it. So I whiz around them only to drive beside them on the opposite side of the road.

I turn my head a moment taking in Eren's surprised expression and though he can't see my face I'm smiling at him.

I'd wave but I'm more concerned with keeping my hands on the handles so I look away from him pushing forward to speed well ahead of them.

I'm not worried about police catching me speeding. Since we live on the outskirts of town all of them are more inward, city bound, and well since I pretty much know which streets to take I end up avoiding having to stop.

Twenty five minutes later I pull into a parking spot. Smiling as I see Ymir just stepping out the doors gawking at me.

"No shit," she awes as she walks over to me as I take my helmet off, "I knew you said the Doc and Mommy dearest got you a bike but I thought you meant like one with peddles!"

I chuckle at her eye fucking my bike drawing her attention from it as she looks at me.

"Well Frecks," I drawl out, "that's what you get for assuming."

"Aye," she pouts, literally pouts, as she looks at me, "lemme have a ride on it for all the years of having to be your best friend."

I laugh, rich and full, as I shake my head at her.

"And here I thought you actually liked my sparkling personality and all."

"Nah, I just needed someone to tease lord knows Jean isn't as fun when he's subjected to my teasing," Ymir scoffs folding her arms over her chest as she playfully glares at me, "and you're just so well you so it's easy."

"Hey," I whine placing my hand over my chest, "I'm wounded Freckles, really."

We both share a laugh then as I get off my bike. She slings her arm around my shoulder again ruffling up my already helmet hair.

"Yah know," she says finally, "you are my best girl friend right and I don't know what I'd do without ya."

"Woah there," I chuckle tapping her arm gently, "don't go telling Christa that or she'd have my head."

"You're right," she says solemnly, "I should tell Christa."

"Ymir," I whine removing her arm from my shoulder, "I'd like to live to see tomorrow, please!"

"Alright," she chuckles finally, "just because if she kills you one of your freaky siblings would come for revenge."

I was about to say something when Eren pulls into the parking lot. Parking two spaces away from my bike. Once parked everyone climbs out, Eren and Mikasa from the front and Annie climbing out of the back as Eren stares openly at my present.

"But how," he whines, "I get this old thing and they get you something practically new," he is pouting now, "a motorcycle no less!"

I giggle at his afterthought as I readjust my bag.

"Yeah well that's what you get for assuming they got me an actually bike now if you don't mind we should be heading inside."

I don't have the heart to spare Mikasa a glance so I turn towards the door grabbing Ymir's arm. She goes to spout a protest but I shoot her a look that keeps her silent.

After we are through the doors I take in the Dojo with a huge smile. This place is just gigantic, it's like an old American gym and has a flare of traditional Japanese format, it's like a home away from home also since Ymir's family lives and works here also.

I turn to look at Ymir then with a questioning gaze.

"Would it be alright if I head to your room to change?"

"Sure," she huffs as I release her arm, "why."

"Just," I hush my tone when the others walk in, "please."

Thankfully she hears my urgency and nods her head.

"Fine fine," she crosses her arms teasingly, "don't take to long 'cause I want to have a match with you."

"Lemme guess," I sigh as I smile at her, "you wanna fight so you can try to win a free ride on my bike?"

"Hell yeah," she grins, "and Jeans over there," she points to his lean muscular form going at it on a punching bag, "just wait till I tell 'em he's gonna want to have a go at you too just for a quick ride also."

"Why do I even put up with you," I giggle at her scowl as I remove the strap from across my body holding the bag's handle close to it, "alright fine but if I win I get to take Christa out on a date."

Her expression is priceless.

Just so very priceless in fact that I dig my phone out of my pocket snapping a picture. I know it's wrong waging a "date" with her girlfriend if I win, but I figured a game of manipulation shall work.

I nearly laugh as she glares at me heavily.

"You little shit," she growls, non playfully mind you, as she keeps her glare in place, "I knew you had the hots for Christa well hurry your ass up and get ready so you can eat the mat, mate."

I nod my head laughing on the inside as I scurry away heading towards her room. Her assumption about me "having the hots" for Christa is so off bases that I nearly double over just to let the laughter out.

My preference is so not blondes.

I don't take my time once I'm in her room, I've been here a dozen times before, her bed isn't made. One of her latest porns is sprawled out next to her bed making me wince for a moment.

_I swear she should have been born a guy_.

Don't get me wrong Ymir has two older brothers, a sister a year older than her, three younger bothers and a baby sister. All of them seem normal enough, but Ymir well she's special. Not in any bad way I guess with all the kids they have her _dads _just didn't have all the time in the world to pay her any mind.

Not that Mr and Mister Lockhart aren't bad parents it's just they're busy. With one running this dojo and the other being a Lawyer I'm surprised they have anytime for their children. They do though, but I think Ymir just outgrew them at a certain point. I know she loves them though she'd get into fights at school a lot when people talked badly about them.

I'm stalling I know.

Anyways I slip on my black sports bra and blue short shorts then I lace up my boots and wrap up my hands in bandages really quick before grabbing my gloves and heading out her door.

Once I'm all set I quickly make my way back to the Dojo area where Ymir is currently standing on one of the mats looking like she is ready for blood, my blood, and I sigh. I know I can last awhile with Ymir, even when she is mad, but I know that since I provoked her that she'll try to end me quickly.

I shift my gaze away as I catch Eren antagonizing Jean into sparring with him and well I nearly laugh at this because each time they spar Jean wins and Eren whines like a sore losers. I move my gaze however when I hear the cracking of skin on skin contact.

It's Mikasa and Annie.

I stand there a moment watching as Annie tries to overthrow Mikasa with an heavy arsenal of fast punches and kicks, but Mikasa keeps countering throwing her own blows at the blonde only for her to dodge.

It almost looks like they're dancing.

"Oi, Potato," Ymir's voice booms loudly causing me to tear my gaze from the two sparring to look at her, I'm sure everyone else is too, heated gaze, "hurry up and get over here so I can kick your ass."

I just smirk as I go towards her only too stop a moment when a strong hand lands on my shoulder. I flick my gaze to the owner.

"Careful Sas," Jean says easily, "she's out for blood this time and also kick ass bike."

I just smirk at him tapping his hand, which he removes, as I refocus my attention back on Ymir who's pacing like a wild animal in a cage.

Maybe this wasn't a good idea.

As soon as my foot touches the mat she lunges at me. I dodge in time for that but I don't calculate her to spin around so quickly slamming her fist down on my left shoulder blade.

I stagger forward due to the blow and then I spin around to face her only to be knocked to the other side of the mat from the equally strong blow she delivers to my face.

For a moment everything is blurry, my ears are ringing and I feel the blood from my newly busted lip trickling down my chin.

I don't know how but a moment later I duck in time to avoid getting hit again and then all of a sudden I've collected myself enough to fight back. She throws her left fist towards my stomach and I can see her right leg rear back so I smack her arm away sweeping my leg off of under her body and with precise momentum I bring my leg up swinging it down, hard on her stomach.

It renders her useless for a moment, long enough for me to jump into a protective stance, as she spins herself on her back jumping back up to her feet.

And then we begin to dance. Each throw she gives me I counter, managing to land a few blows on her body, and we start to draw attention. We've been going at it over twenty minutes now and I know that if it isn't ended soon I'll be spent and won't be able to defend myself.

So after she goes to kick me I knock her leg down and go to punch her in her chest only to miscalculate when to hit her giving her the advantage to grab me by my arm flinging me to the mat.

Hard.

I'm panting when she grabs me by my sports bra lifting my body up half way, but instead of looking at her I look around noticing how everyone crowded around us, expect for Mikasa and Annie.

I glance over to the other mat, luckily no one was in the way, and I notice Mikasa has Annie pinned, but she isn't looking at Annie. She's looking over here staring at me.

Her eyes are locked onto mine and my breath nearly hitches at the sight.

The moment is ruined however when Annie grabs Mikasa by her scarf forcefully bringing their lips together surprising Mikasa as she did.

That intense feeling I felt earlier is back and before I can think to stop it my focus is brought back to Ymir.

She's been yelling at me but I can't make out her words, my mind is on that kiss, everything with in me is whirling with the fact that Annie kissed Mikasa surprising her like that when sparring.

I just lose it.

One minute I buck into Ymir throwing her off me and then I black out, just for a few moments, but they're long enough for Ymir to be laying sprawled out on the ground unconscious with me hovering over her with my fist ready to strike.

I stop when Eren's screaming breaks through to me.

I drop my arm.

My chest heaving and heart hammering as I look at Ymir.

"No," barely slips throw my lips as I move towards her body checking her pulse, "Ymir," I huff out fighting the lump in my throat, "Ymir," I try again shaking her after I find out her pulse is still there, "Ymir!"

She doesn't move and I move from her stumbling backwards as her father shouts out her name. I begin to panic as I turn myself to run to her room to grab my bag and the rest.

It just goes with a blur.

My body moving on autopilot.

One minute her father is screaming at me as I run past him ducking out of his reach, the next I'm on my biking speeding off like a bat out of hell and afterwards I'm closing the garage door my body shaking as I stumble past Mama ignoring her worried pleas to tell her whats wrong as I go to my room.

I lock the door behind me throwing my bag away from me as I drop to my knees. I feel the sting of tears begging to fall and I go to slam my fist into my floor but stop myself.

I won't disrespect my parents this way I stand, my body trembling, as I walk to my window and without a second thought I'm sprinting from my home to the woods I got lost in years ago.

It doesn't take long until I'm panting beside a tree. An array of emotions ripping at me.

Sadness, Anger, Jealousy and Guilt all fighting for a proper hold of me. Nearly consuming my being as I pant heavily slamming my fist into the tree beside me.

I didn't mean to take things so far with Ymir or even take my anger out on her. Honestly I shouldn't be mad at Mikasa either, it's not her fault I feel this way, and Annie well she's dating Mikasa I shouldn't have any right to be this way but these feelings.

_I'm so fucking stupid_.

In a fit of rage I start to slam my fists into the same tree beating into the bark with repeated vulgar. I don't stop not even when I feel the skin breaking from my knuckles as tears flow out of my eyes.

And the only noise that is emanating from the forest is the harsh sounds of me screaming.

_Author's notes_**: And we're gonna end here. **

**I know it's the first chapter and there is already Angst-y feels! Cruel I know, but things will get better.**

**Anyways I wanted to say Female Levi will be in the next chapter and what will her connection be to Mikasa and how will things go between Levi and Sasha? Also since stumbling on Mina I have big plans for her and should I keep her gender or make her a guy?**

**Assassin718: I will be doing at least twenty or so chapters I hope you don't mind a bumpy ride.**

**TodayParade: Thank you!**

**Friend: I still hope you think so and won't be upset with all the feels.**

**Fall for the Bad Guy: I'll give as good as I can!**

**Kuma Leijon: - bows - No, thank YOU, dear!**

**impossiblyobessive: I hope it continues to be so for you and if I happen to fail I shall try better in the chapters that follow.**

**rosiema vasileva: Thank you dear, but I'm sure there are some other good ones also and ones that have yet to come.**

**RED TIGER SKUNK: It will be, but it will be worth it I promise.**

**DoTheseHaveSaltOnThem: I'm actually not quite fond of the pairing but for now they seem easy enough to write. The true nature of their relationship is yet to be revealed anyways.**

**Thank you also for the views and follows it surprised me and I hope that in the end you'll think this story is worth something.**

**Disclaimers are as followed I do not own these characters they are just living out life in this AU I'm typing.**

**Cap'n Lynn,**

**P.s All the errors are my fault I am using WordPad still, hopefully I'll start using Office in the near future.**


	3. Dreamer

_" I dream too much. To ever give a fuck 'bout anything and everything you care about, so I'll just sing. I sleep too much I can't leave my bed all the things I have to do I'd rather lay here for a few_."

- Day Dreamer by Wild Child.

**Chapter Two: Dreamer.**

It's been a week since what happened at the Dojo.

I still feel the heavy feeling of guilt for doing what I did to Ymir, and I still don't know how to face her right now if I see her so I've managed to avoid her and pretty much everyone for that matter.

Save for my parents who pretty much have been cheaking in on me every other minute.

It started when I came back from the woods. I don't remember much just one minute I was staring at the newly destroyed tree, my body to numb to feel the pain in my hands, and the next I'm walking through the front door.

Mama ran to me sobbing bringing me into her arms but I just stood there. Papa was beside her within moments easing her away from me to look at my hands. I don't make out his words I was just staring right on ahead.

I'm pretty sure my eyes were almost lifeless and I know that scared them.

I go from standing by the front door to sitting on Papa's chair in his study. He was tending to my hands, that I still couldn't feel, part of me thought he would take me to the hospital and then have me locked up.

_He's a doctor first and foremost though_.

So another part of me knew he'd keep a close watch on me and eventually would want to know what was wrong, I'm sure Eren told him what happened with Ymir, but I know he knows that I've sparred a hundred times before and never reacted as I did.

I don't realize he was stitching up the gashes on my hands until I go to move and Mikasa stops me. I only know she was the one to do it because I, for a moment, noticed her scarf.

When Papa was finished he kisses me on my forehead. I don't respond though as I stood, Mikasa had let go of me arm by then, I left his study making my way to the stairs.

I was stopped twice.

Once by Mama who wraps me up into her arms as she told me she loves me and then by Eren who pretty much did the same.

After that I make it to the stairs where Annie is standing.

Awareness seeps into me then as our eyes meet. She's smirking at me an air of smugness around her. I didn't have the energy to be upset or show any emotion really so I just look at her. I guess it was unnerving because her smirk dropped and she looked away.

I didn't say anything as I turn to make my way upstairs and when I get to my room I didn't bother to shed from my clothes, I was still wearing my outfit from the Dojo, I just simply pull the covers back and then climb in.

I slept for the rest of the day, dreamless for once, and it last until I awake again.

Mama is sitting beside me on the bed with a wet cloth.

She mumbled a good morning and I went to speak but notice I couldn't.

My throat was still raw from the screaming I did in the woods so I nodded my head slowly. She smiled at me, sadly, as she leaned down to kiss me on the forehead. Papa walks in as she does and asked how his little patient was doing.

I wanted to glare at him but I couldn't and luckily Mama turned to scold him for a good minute before standing. She looked at me and told me that she was going to make me some soup that should help sooth my raw throat.

I managed to give her a faint smile as she turned to leave.

Papa walked closer to me then gently taking my hands to check on them.

I winced.

_It hurt like a bitch_.

He chuckles softly and mumbled his apology before he spoke up to tell me that it's good news. My hands hurting, he meant, because that means there isn't nerve damage.

I just nod my head as he got up. He told me that he'll be back with clean bandages and he has medicine that will help fight against infection that he wants me to take after I eat.

After that he made his exit.

I had sagged into my bed then feeling empty and alone. I glanced down at my hands as I lift them up pain shoot through me but I pushed through it.

_I deserve this and more for what I did to Ymir_.

I bit my lip in an attempt to keep the tears away so far it helped. I move my hands back down and turn my head. My mouth twitched into a smile when I see Mikasa's Black Bear next to me.

Tentively I reached for it ignoring the pain coursing throw my arm as I grip onto the bear and pull it to me. I tuck it into my arm as I laid my head back to close my eyes.

The sound of heavy foot steps caused me to open them moments later as I turn my head slightly to see Eren.

He looked almost sheepish as he gave me an apology asking if he woke me and I shook my head no causing him to relax. He asked me how I'm feeling and I shrug. He goes to ask me another question when Mikasa walks in holding a tray.

I swallow the lump in my throat as she tells Eren that Mama needed him. Once he's gone she sits beside me where Mama had sat. I can't quite make out her expression, but I notice the way her eyes linger on the bear.

For a moment I think she smiled but I push the thought away when she clears her throat. She tells me Mama had sent her up to feed me because she had an errand to run and also drop Annie off at her parents.

Part of me felt happy to hear that but I kept my face neutral and only sat up when Mikasa told me too. She goes to feed me but I stopped her.

I was feeling quite stubborn and tried to do it myself but I winced the moment I gripped the spoon so she took it from me.

And so she fed me. At first my throat rejected the soup I kept coughing it up as Mikasa rubbed my back. Once I calmed down she held a glass, with water in it, to my lips.

It was her silent way of telling me to drink so I did and it helped some for the most part. I was then ready to eat and by the time I finished the last spoonful Papa walked in with his medical bag. He told Mikasa to go ahead and take the tray back downstairs so he could work on my hands and give me my medicine.

She didn't move for a moment.

Just sitting there beside me until she nodded her head and before she moved I felt a light pressure on the side of my head.

Warmth spread through me as heat flooded my cheeks when she pulled away causing Papa to chuckle as she got up, grabbed the tray and went on her way.

He worked quickly choosing not to talk and then he pulled out a syringe.

He didn't say anything at first just poked me in the arm with the needle only to say it would help fight the infection like he mentioned earlier and told me to sleep tight.

Before everything went completely black I could have swore I saw Mikasa in the hallway beside my door as Papa walked out.

But I told myself that was wishful thinking.

x

I did manage to make it to school on Monday.

I heard Connie and Armin call out to me but I manage to slip past them and found a lot of hiding spots as I also made sure to avoid Jean, Christa and Ymir.

Everyone else avoided me though because of my hands. A ton of stories surfaced because of that.

I'm personal favorite was killing three men and eating one of their hearts, nuts right?

Anyways it's Saturday now so I've managed to not see face Ymir.

She must hate me I know I would have if someone did what I did to her.

My voice came back yesterday but I haven't used it. I don't feel the need to because I feel like I'd spill everything if I did.

Luckily for me Mama had managed to get me to leave my room for awhile. I was the only one of her children home because Eren went to see Armin and Mikasa was invited to see Annie's family. Mama thought it wasn't nice for me to sit around doing nothing while the other two went off to do something so she gave me some money.

Which brings me to sitting on my bike getting ready to leave.

"You got everything," Mama asked as she handed me my helmet, "or did you forget something dear?"

I shook my head taking my helmet with a smile which made her sigh.

"I wish you would talk dear I happen to miss your voice."

I bit my lip feeling guilty but kept my mouth shut as she leaned forward kissing my temple.

"It's alright dear just take your time and heal," she smiles softly as she goes to open the garage, "text me to let me know where you are and be back by supper."

I give her the thumbs up as I put on my helmet finally smiling when I see her nod her head.

"I love you sweetheart," she says as she walks to the door leading to the garage, "don't forget that."

I wanted to say something back but I focus my attention towards the drive way as I turn on my bike. She's walks inside before I speed out but I think she knows that I love her too.

Normally I'd head to the Lockhart Dojo to goof off and spar with Jean and Ymir, but that's out of the question right now and since Christa is Ymir's girlfriend I can't drop by to see her.

I'd go see Armin but she is preoccupied with Eren so I best not go disturb their time. Connie is working right now and I hadn't seen him in a week due to avoiding everyone so I think it's best I go see him since I'm also craving coffee.

After a few stops I'm Trost bond.

Trost itself isn't a megacity or anything but it's flourishing in size. Not many people were born here though save for Jean, Eren and one of the Juniors Thomas so I'd say once it was established people moved in and then out.

I've seen a lot of people come and go. Those who stay do so because they have work or their family was from here when it was first settled.

Most people don't think that though due to it's impressive size.

It practically keeps growing really the coffee shop I'm heading to, Titans Fall, was just built last year and Connie was one of the first to jump ship and work there.

Life here isn't bad though with the steady flow of new life always coming in. The police aren't overly crooked and crime is normally dealt with.

x

By the time I get there I notice it's not crowded and for that I'm highly grateful because normally it's packed and there is this hellish line that makes you hate going there until you taste their coffee and then boom it makes sense.

Well to me it does.

After I park I take off my helmet shaking my hair out. I hear catcalls and whistles but I choose to ignore them as I hop off my bike grabbing my keys and putting them in my bag.

"Hey," a deep voice says from behind me, "my buddies and I noticed your sick ass bike and your smokin' body I was wondering if you might want to give me a ride?"

I clench my fists, which were still bandaged, as I turn to look at the man. He looked like he was in his early twenties and had an air of arrogance about him. I look past him to notice his friends, there were three of them around the same age group, they were all snickering as he cleared his throat causing me to shift my focus back on him.

"Ya know," he says with a smile, "it's rude to ignore a question like that."

I roll my eyes adjusting my weight as I notice the way he shifts his body as his friends walk closer.

"So whaddya say," he smirks as he takes a step towards me with his friends not to far behind him, "wanna give me a ride?"

"I don't think she's interested," a light voice says behind me, "so take your friends and be gone with you."

I turn my head and my eyes lock with these grey irises almost similar to that of Mikasa. This girl regards me for a moment before looking back at the guys in front of me.

"Oh yeah," the guy chuckles, which made me look back at him, as he crosses his arms, "and what are you going to do about it if I don't girly?"

"I don't think you want to know," a second light voice adds from behind me, "she packs a good punch."

"And if you can't take her and have your friends jump in I'll end them," a third and deeper voice added with a chuckle, "I'd like to see them try and take me."

"So what do you say," the girl with the grey eyes asked with a smirk, "leave with your dignity and bodies intact or stay and be forced to leave in pieces your call."

One of the guys in the back taps his shoulder tilting his signalling for him to give up and leave or so I'm assuming.

He stands there for a moment before sighing.

"Fine it's not like we can't take you but whatever she's ugly anyways."

I glare at him as he and his friends leave snickering.

_Says the guys who wanted me to give him a _"_ride_" _jerk_.

"Well that's disappointing," the guy chuckles, "and to think I was looking forward to busting heads."

A smack caused me to look back and nearly double over as I see who owned the second light voice.

She's only a few inches taller than that of Annie maybe five foot two or five foot three. She's quite beautiful and if her hair was blonde I'd almost mistaken her for a taller Christa. Her hair is a light shade of honey stopping just above her shoulders and once she looks at me I notice her eyes have almost the same honey hue or a shade darker. She gives me a smile as the guy beside her rubs his arm.

"I'm sorry about him," she says earnestly, "I honestly can't tell you why I put up with him."

"Hey," the guys whines out as he looks at me, "don't listen to her she's the one who agreed to spend the rest of her life with me."

My eyes widen at them not knowing what to say which causes the grey eyed girl beside me to sigh.

"I'm sorry about them," she began taking my attention away from the couple, "it's quite rude to act familiar with a stranger without giving your name," she quips at the two beside her before refocusing on me, "I'm Levi," she points at the honey hair girl, "that's Petra and the big blond idiot is her fiancé Nanabu."

"Hey," the guy, Nanabu, scowls almost like Ymir does, "I'm not an idiot Lev so be nice you little shit."

I take Nanabu's appearance in as he and Levi begin to bicker. He's tall standing about six foot two and nicely built with short blond hair that is shaved in the back. Since the grey eyed girl is beside me I can make out his eyes. They're a sea colored blue.

All in all is that he's quite handsome.

What takes me by surprise though is the jagged scar on his right cheek leading down to his neck line in his shirt.

I advert my gaze though to look at the grey eyed girl only to notice that she's short. Well she's taller than Petra by an inch but still considerably short compared to me. Her hair is black stopping at the middle of her back, but it's shaved at the side near her ear. I think it suits her and my heart does this weird flutter because she reminds me of a shorter, voiceful by the way she is still bickering with Nanabu, version of Mikasa.

"I'm sorry they're normally well mannered in public," Petra says startling me which causes her to chuckle, "sorry about that."

"It's fine," I tell her which got the other two's attention.

"So you really can speak," Levi smiles as she looks at me.

"And here I thought you were a mute," Nanabu scoffs, "totally ruined my hero thang."

"Nanabu," Petra warned glaring at him, "behave."

The blond sighs as he looks at the honey brunette pleadingly, "but babe."

"No."

"Fine."

"Yeah we should get going," Levi huffs out as she crosses her arms, "they'll be like this for the rest of the day."

I nod my head not knowing what to say as Levi walks over to Nanabu and Petra pushing them in the direction they came from. Before they walk out of sight Levi looks back and waves at me with a smile.

I wave back and realize I never gave them my name.

Once they're gone the weird fluttering in my chest stops. I don't try to analyze what that means as I walk to the store's entrance.

Connie looks up at me as the bell above the door rings. He frowns and looks down at the counter going back to cleaning it.

_Ouch_.

I guess he's mad at me too.

I ignore the flight feeling as I walk over to the counter. I clear my throat wincing at the feeling it gives me as I say the only thing that comes to mind.

"Hey Connie."

He snaps his gaze from the counter and locks his eyes with mine. He's glaring as a scowl plays at his features.

"How can I help you," he says stiffly as he forces a smile.

"Connie," I plead, "don't be like that."

"Don't be like what," he shoots out fiery, "you ignored me for a week and then have the audacity to show up to where I work just to say 'Hey Connie'," he air quotes before scowling again, "what's your deal Sasha?"

"I actually came to get the usual and to see how my friend is doing," the evenness in my tone startles me as much as it does him so I deflate, "I also wanted to tell you why."

"Fine," he sighs as he looks at me, "you look like shit by the way," he cracks this grin before looking down at my bandaged hands that I placed on the counter, "my break is about to happen so take a seat and I'll bring you that disgusting iced drink of yours."

I roll my eyes as I nod my head.

That's Connie for you.

I leave the counter as he begins to work his magic on making my iced vanilla caramel latte with a splash of cinnamon and chocolate.

_It's actually pretty amazing so don't judge_.

I take a seat down in the booth next to the window near the door and smile faintly when Connie takes a seat in the seat across from mine three minutes later sliding my drink over to me.

"Alright spill."

I take a drink, smiling contently, before looking back at his yellowish green orbs. He's arching his brow at me expectantly so I sigh.

"If I must," I frown and proceed to tell him everything, except my feelings for Mikasa and skimmed over why I spazzed out on Ymir.

Once I finish he whistles.

"Well no shit," he hums, "that's why you've been on the evasive lately."

"Pretty much."

"Look Sas," he says finally as he stands, "I'm glad you told me but you can't go avoiding the others like the plague."

"Con -"

"Don't Cone me," he smiles as he takes a step back, "you, Jean and Ymir are like the three musketeers and it's weird to avoid them I know you feel remorseful for giving Ymir one hell of a black eye because look at your hands," he points, "that's proof enough so just swallow that pride of yours and go see her."

I just nod my head as I stand leaving my half drank coffee on the table causing him to sigh.

"Sas -"

"I'll think about it okay?"

"That's all I can ask for," he sighs and then smiles at me, "it'd be great to have the gang back together anyways 'cause we're all gonna be graduating soon."

"Yeah," I say conjuring a small smile as he turns around to head back to the counter as I head to the door ,"Later Baldy," I say without looking back opening the door to leave.

I smile when I hear him laugh as he yells, "Bye 'Tato."

I put my helmet on as I hop on my bike.

I feel almost lighter after talking to Connie, the guilt is still there yeah, and that feeling I got when Levi spoke made my heart flutter painfully but again I push it away.

I'll have to think about this later and I doubt I'll ever see her again which makes me feel guilty for a whole different reason, but I'm not sure why.

Before I take off I feel a buzzing which nearly makes me jump until I realize it's my phone. I fish it out of my purse and slide my finger across it's screen.

My heart is hammering in my chest.

I have fifteen missed calls and thirty new text messages.

I open the current one gulping.

**Sasha, mother is worried answer her calls and text**.

- Mikasa.

Well that was nicer than I expected.

I hurry and send Mama a text message telling her where I was and that I'd be home soon. After that I put my phone away and leave.

x

By the time I get home I earn one of those rare lectures from Mama and then she hugs me. I don't feel ready to talk yet so I just hug her back.

It's horrible of me I know but I need to sort things out.

I've got nothing but time to anyways.

So what's the worse that can happen?

_Author's notes_**: And chapter two is done ~**

**Well I feel like Petra, Nana(bu) and Levi were all a little to OOC, and for that I'm sorry. Truth be told I think I'm writing them all a little OOC and if any of you know their personalities well enough could you help point me in the right direction?**

**As for Sasha as the story progresses you'll understand her overwhelming emotions. Since this is the second chapter I can't bring much to light to early.**

**By at least chapter four we'll have a reunion with Ymir and you'll see if their friendship will last or not.**

**I'm kidding they'll make up! Haha, best friends fight and make up.**

**I won't reveal anymore than what I have and hopefully it will keep getting better.**

**Anyways I don't own anything and that's that.**

**Love Cap'n Lynn.**

**P.s I still make mistakes from time to time but I do try to correct them.**


	4. Visitor

_Visits always give pleasure-if not the arrival, the departure._

- Portuguese Proverb.

Chapter Three: Visitor.

I'm awake on a Sunday morning way before sunrise.

Why?

Because loud calculated taps on my bedroom door have brought me from my dreamless slumber, well dreamless in a sense that I can't recall them for once.

Groggily I stand maneuvering through my room effortlessly as I open the wooden barrier to come face to face, well face to chest, with my father.

"Good morning Sasha," Papa said lightly as he smiles at me, "I heard from Connie last night that the two of you had a chat and I want to say that I am quite pleased to know that you have gained back control of your voice."

_That wakes me up completely_.

I push away the inward shock that I am feeling as I crane my neck upwards so that I can see his face.

He looks _relaxed _and that startles me. I figured he'd be upset or at least something other than relaxed at knowing that I got my voice back without saying anything.

_Fucking Connie I'm gonna hang him upside down by his ankles and let his little brother and sister whack him like he was a piñata_.

I refouse on Papa's face. He's looking at me expectantly and I realize I have yet to say anything. Must be because it's still way to early on a Sunday morning for my brain to even want to work, but I shrug it off giving him a sheepish smile.

"I'm sorry Papa," the earnest tone in my voice is genuine, "my voice came back Friday and it felt odd to use so I didn't and then yesterday I went to get some iced coffee," it wasn't really a lie so I don't feel particularly guilty as I add, "Connie just happened to be working when I was there so we caught up."

"Hmm," he hums out as he rubs his facial hair in thought, "I see well now that it is back I think we'll have a one on one session after lunch so you can tell me what happened with Ymir," I bit my lip as he sighed, "Eren told me part of what he saw and Ari along with his husband Steffen would also like to know why you knocked Ymir out like you did."

His disappointment is apparent. It's like a stab at the heart but I nod my head as he looks at me.

"You had us worried Sasha," he said finally after a few moments as he pats my shoulder, "does it have to do with the nightmares?"

I had a sneaking suspension that he would ask that so I just shrug as he removes he hand.

"I'll tell you when our session starts."

"I look forward to it," he gives me this kind smile like he usually does when he speaks in his doctor tone, "you can go back to sleep if you like it was rather rude of me to awaken you this early."

I nod my head as he pivots just so walking to the stairs and heading down them. He's probably going to his study going over his notes on me like I'm one of the rarest specimens on the face of this Earth.

And maybe I am.

Or just one of a kind.

I head back to my room only to grab some clothes hanging around in my closest and underwear out of my dresser.

I need a shower.

I shift slightly from my dresser to the doorway leading to my bathroom. The tiles are cold against my bare feet, but it's welcoming as I place everything down on my sink's counter. I then turn to my shower opening the glass door to it reaching up to turn the nozzle and then adjust the temperature before pulling it back with a pop allowing the water to spring to life.

I jump back before the water can splash off the glass to pelt my pajamas. Once I'm away from the now on shower I strip down the temperature of my body growing colder by the second before I step in welcoming the warmth it brings me as I close the door.

I sigh as the water covers me completely waking the rest of my senses up. I sigh in contentment as I start to wash away the stress.

It's nice this feeling of easiness before the storm that will happen earlier.

The storm that is my emotions that is.

About fifteen minutes later I am dressed in a comfortable part of form fitting denim jeans and a big black sweater that hangs off my right shoulder just so revealing the white tank top underneath.

I slip out of my bathroom walking over to my dresser to pull out socks and then over to my bed plopping myself down fumbling a moment or so to slip them on. After my feet are comfortably submerged inside the cozy fabric I hastily put on my tan mid calf boots.

Once they're on I walk back to my closet retrieving my trusty bow – the arrows are out in the shed – it may be a few hours before I talk to Papa but I feel that creeping feeling of flight and fight. Since I can't and won't leave the house shooting arrows at a non moving target came to mind.

Genius right?

Before I walk to my window I stop to look at my mirror taking in my appearance. My hair is down for once – slightly curly – and I'm not quite bothered with it because I'm not at school or sparring.

It looks decent really.

I push my bangs out of my eyes with a small hum of a tune that I don't recall as I walk to my window.

I don't feel like facing Papa and letting him know that I don't go back to sleep. He may take it that I'm ready to talk now and the reality of it is that I'm not.

So sneaking out of my window is what came to mind.

I lightly slip out making sure to not put my weight fully on one foot or the other as I walk across the roof. I make it to where Papa has the logs set up on the side of the house and drop down almost falling as I finally make it to the ground.

I sigh in relief before I begin to walk to the targets.

They're a short distance from the house – a good ten minute or so walk – next to one of our old sheds.

The one that Mikasa found me in actually.

It's this old run down faded red shake or it was before Papa decided to have one of those DIY kind of moods the summer Eren came back. Afterwards it became our Archery supplies shed.

Neat huh?

I stop just outside the door when I notice someone has already been in there. I know it's not Eren he's not exactly a morning person and Papa would be in his study. So that leaves only two others.

It wouldn't be odd for Mama to be up this early shooting at targets and I push the idea that it's Mikasa away because last I checked she was still at Annie's parents house.

_Doing god knows what_.

I grip my bow tighter as I walk into the shed quickly grabbing quiver that was already filled with arrows and place it on my back neatly.

Eager to see Mama in action I walk out of the shed walking over to the shooting area only to come to a halt.

Instead of seeing Mama's flowing brown locks as she kept her stance perfect I see the red fabric of Mikasa's scarf swaying as the wind blows softly around us.

Her stance is a little off but I can tell she is focused purely on the target as she pulls back on the string.

I creep up on her listening to the shallow breath she takes as she releases the arrow with a gentle grace about her as she does.

It takes flight soaring to it's target and it hits.

Not the bullseye, but a few inches off. I can't help the smile that tugs at the corner of my mouth as I ready my bow and just as quiet as I was sneaking up on her I pull out an arrow and with in a second I release it startling her as it whizzes past her striking the bullseye.

I suppress the laughter bubbling inside my chest as she turns around looking at me with wide grey eyes. This is the first time that I've ever surprised her so I play it off with a kind smile.

"You shift your weight instead of centering yourself," I begin with a shrug as I go to stand beside her, "Mama must have told you that, yes?"

She recovers herself quickly as she turns her head to look at the target. She buries her face into her scarf – possibly hiding her flushed cheeks – as she clears her throat.

"I wasn't very attentive when mother was teaching," she confessed taking me by surprise with her forwardness, "to be truthful I didn't like the idea of archery I wasn't learning with Eren and our parents thought it was best we study separately so it was odd."

"But Mama is an excellent teacher," I half argue with her before scrunching up my face, "and you excel at everything."

I hear her chuckle faintly and it makes my chest tighten happily.

"Yes," she says with a shrug, "but I don't have to excel at everything _Sasha _some people are just meant to have a few things they're not superb at."

It takes a moment for me to get over the internal shock of her using my name. It's been years since she's actually said it while we have a conversation and as the ache in my heart grows a little larger I realize I've missed her saying it more than anything.

"I could teach you," I offer after a moment pushing my feelings away as I look at her, "if you'd like?"

"I would," she says after a moment I can hear the smile in her voice as her eyes scan my face but then her brows furrow as if she recalls something, "I can't right now though Annie came back with me and I'm sure she's going to be waking up soon," she pauses as she looks away from me to look at the target, "we came back last night when you were sleeping but we're leaving again after breakfast."

"Oh," was the only thing I could muster as I look back at the target also, "that's fine always a next time."

"Yes," she agrees softly as she turns to leave stopping only to look back at me, "I'm glad you got your voice back I've – I've missed it."

I nod my head mustering up a smile as she finally turns to head back inside then and I pull out another arrow.

_At least it_'_s something_.

For the next hour I'm releasing arrow after arrow. Eren grumpily came outside, Mikasa must have woke him up, to yell at me and tell me that breakfast was ready.

We had pancakes, hash browns, sausage links and bacon. Mama always likes to spoil everyone with a hearty meal when she can on the weekends. Though the food was good the dining table was rather awkward. Like always since they've been back Mikasa is sitting next to me with Annie next to her. I barely say anything save for when Mama asks me how I am.

I tell her I'm fine, and I know Papa knows I'm lying.

After breakfast I help Mama clean the table and wash the dishes, somewhere in between Mikasa and Annie leave. I only realize that because Mikasa surprises me with a hug from behind. I tell her goodbye and that I love her.

She tells me that she loves me too.

Though I don't try to interpret it into more than just sibling love I still can't stop the way my heart flutters.

Guilt stays with me after she is gone.

Once I finish helping Mama I accompany Papa to his study.

And here I've been for the past half hour in silence because he hasn't asked me a single question. He simply has been writing in his journal.

"Papa," I call out with a bored sigh.

"Yes Sasha," he asks without looking up.

"Didn't you want t have a session?"

"I do believe I mentioned after lunchtime," he teases slightly as he looks up, "you didn't have to come in and sit until then."

"I thought we should hurry up and get it over with," I grumbled slightly as I shift in my chair, "so shall we?"

He sighs for a moment before sitting his pen down, "I told you're mother we shouldn't have spoiled you."

I know he is teasing so I smile as I cross my legs.

"What would have been the fun in that I'm the baby after all."

"Of course you are," he chides lightly before straightening up pulling out a leather journal from under the one he was just writing in, "are you ready dear?"

I sigh at his Doctor tone and then nod my head.

"As I'll ever be."

"Alright," he smiles, "so tell me when it started."

"Let's see," I begin knowing the drill, "last year before the older two graduated."

"Mhm," he hums, "would it have to do with the fact that you and your _sister _were finally on speaking terms and you didn't know how to cope after she left?"

"I hadn't really thought about that," which was true I hadn't. Though it did help me think about my feelings so I look up at Papa, "why would you think that was the key reason though Papa?"

"Doctor Jaeger," he scolds me lightly as he rubs his chin, "and honestly it's something I've always wondered the two of you were close," he pauses dropping his hand, "I even believe Mikasa was far closer to you than anyone in this family."

"What about Eren," I ask tentatively taking in Papa's words.

"Mm, before you came into our lives and before Eren was sent away yes it was obvious who Mikasa was closest to him," he tilts his head then, "but when she found you in that shed I think in a way a sort of attachment grew inside her as she held you she wouldn't leave your side for the first few weeks scaring away anyone who dared touch you," his chuckle surprises me, "even your mother and I."

My heart does this flip and flutters violently but on the surface I stay composed as Papa finally looks at me.

"It surprised your mother and I when the two of you started to avoid each other," he sighed, " I even tried to convince your mother it was just something children go through and that the two of you would be back attached at the hip like you have always be, but – "

"But that wasn't the case yes I know P – Doctor Jaeger."

He nods his head a moment before beginning to write down in the journal – my journal – as he hums out a few lines to a lullaby Mama used to sing to me.

"Would they trigger my nightmares," I ask finally just to make him stop humming.

"It could be one of the reasons," he nods as he looks back up at me, "tell me what happened with Ymir."

"You think what happened to Ymir is all connected to this?"

"Yes."

Leave it to Papa to find a way to find the connection to anything and everything.

"Where should I start?"

"From that morning unless something happened before that then start from there."

"Alright," and so I did – skipping over a few details of course – as I told him about how I was already feeling agitated and that I wagered Ymir. Childish things in his opinion but still.

"I'd like to keep having these sessions," he says after I finish, "once a week on a Sunday that way it will help you."

"Okay," is all I can say I am feeling rather exhausted and I know Papa notices.

"You can go now Lunch should be ready in about two hours you should nap Sasha."

"Alright," I say as I stand heading to the door pausing only when Papa speaks again.

"I love you, Sasha."

I turn to face him as I grip the door handle with a tired smile, "I love you, too."

I exit his study shutting the door behind me quietly as I go. I am about to head to the stair leading to my room when a loud annoying voice catching my attention.

_Fucking great_.

"SASHA," Eren shouts rather loudly – my guess is he is by the front door, "FAGGOTY ASS JEAN, HIS BOYTOY AND ONE OF YMIR'S ONE HUNDRED SIBLINGS IS HERE FOR YOU."

I scowl as I walk from the stairs through the kitchen and stomp my way to the living room smacking Eren upside his head.

"Idiot,"I scold as he yelps, "I like it if you introduce guest properly or I'll tell Armin you're insulting her friends again."

He bits his bottom lip as Jean chuckles loudly.

"Damn loud mouth is pussy whipped ay – ow what the hell was that for Marco?"

"Be nice we're here to see your best friend."

That's Marco for you forever never putting up with Jean's bullshit.

I think they make quite the dashing couple.

"Fine," Jean sighs rolling his eyes.

"Ho," Eren laughs, "now who's whipped."

Jean and Eren begin to bicker then as Marco tries to keep the peace. I'm about to say something when a soft voice calls out to me.

"Hello Sasha."

I shift my eyes from the boys to look down at Ymir's older sister Lulu. She stands about the same height as Eren with long black hair and sharp blue eyes. Her overall appearance is quite beautiful in a way I see where Ymir get's her sense of style from because they two dress alike, but in a way I have to say Lulu is hands down more feminine.

The only way you can tell the two are siblings is the distinguished freckles the two have. In truth all of her siblings have matching freckles it's a trait they all inherited from their birth mother since Ari doesn't have any.

"Lulu," I say after a moment as I move to allow her inside, "should we fetch the boys?"

"No," she answers in a light voice shutting the door behind her leaving Marco to deal with his boyfriend and my brother, "I'm sure you and Jean will check up next time more than likely Eren will upset him."

"FUCK YOU JAEGER!"

Right on cue actually.

"See," Lulu chuckles as Eren storms inside the house whizzing past us with a slur of incoherent curse words leaving his lips.

"It was the thought that counts," I sigh as we take a seat on the couch, "so what do I owe this visit for Lu?"

"You know why," she answers shortly as her blue eyes land on me, "this is about Ymir."

"I figured as much," I sigh – again for the umpteenth time today – as I look at my hands, "how is she?"

"Mopey," Lulu chuckles, "and bitchy but that's actually quite normal."

"Mopey?"

"You're her best friend Sasha," she shrugs out, "and nothing like this has happened before between the two of you."

"I know," I say lamely as I flick my gaze to look at her, "I – if it makes any difference I feel guilty for what I did."

"I know."

"Y-you know," I stammer looking her in the eyes, "how?"

"You're father told ours about the incident you had with a tree and Connie may have mentioned your hands being bandaged when he saw you" she sighs, "Ymir feels just as guilty for pushing you she admitted she wasn't thinking clearly when you asked for a date with Christa."

"Ymir and her jealous tendencies," I chuckle out half heartily, "she doesn't hate me does she?"

Lulu takes a moment to answer just looking at me with this stare of hers like she's analyzing me and then abruptly she stands.

"You'll have to ask her that."

"Alright," I say softly as I stand beside her as well and then a thought stuck me, "wait do your fathers hate me?"

"No," Lulu chuckles as we head for the front door, "though daddy Steffen isn't pleased that you ran off dad thought it was quite funny that you finally managed to beat Ymir."

I knew I could count on Papa Ari when things were dim.

"Thank you Lulu," I smile for the first time truly in a week, "this meant a lot."

"You're practically family Sasha," she smiles as I open the door, "and you're the only one besides Christa that can put up with Ymir and her odd behavioral mood swings."

I pull Lulu in for a hug then I know I surprised her usually I ask before hugging someone, but it's nice and I needed this.

"You'll come see her tomorrow then?"

I push Lulu back slightly to look into her eyes not knowing what to say.

"You're going to have to face her sooner or later if you want to know if she hates you or not."

"You said she felt guilty?"

"She did and still does," Lulu answered as she tapped my arm as she walked through the threshold, "so come by tomorrow and talk to her."

I nod my head hope filling up my heart as I look at Ymir's older sister.

"I will."

"Alright," Lulu smiles as she begins to walk off the porch making her way to her car, "be prepared for anything though."

Before I could ask her what she meant by that she got in her car and went on her way.

That feeling of apprehensiveness began to set in as I shut the door.

"Tomorrow," I said softly, "tomorrow I'll go see Ymir."

I just hope that things will work out or I may lose my best friend.

I guess we'll just wait and see.

_Author's __noteage_**: And we are done with Chapter Three!**

**I hope you all liked this chapter and I know it was minor but I liked the Mikasasha moment and hopefully soon there will be more.**

**How did every like Ymir's older sister? Was she okay or terrible. I think I'm going to have to draw them all out alongside Ymir for her OC family because I mean they all look relatively related, depending on the dominating trait the received from their father and surrogate mother so yeah.**

**And the following reviewers get spotlighted:**

**Assassian718: You are one of my favorite reviewers and hopefully I can keep delivering more chapters for you to read. You're right about Ymir and Sasha as well as Annie she has an eye for perspective, but I won't reveal to much on that.**

**ScarletWolfx: Thank you for reviewing both the Prologue and Chapter One. As time progresses you'll understand Sasha's mental more and this isn't going to be a traditional happy ending, but it still will be one nonetheless.**

**RED TIGER SKUNK: I'm sorry Chapter Two was short and if this one was as well but I'd like to announce that the word count will vary in each chapter. As for the hinting of fem!Levi/Sasha I'd like to say yes you hinted correctly. It'll be interesting.**

**JonWithAnH: I've messaged you and a few others actually giving my thanks for reviewing and you did hit the nail on the head pretty hard with it. Next chapter will be their reunion so I hope I can deliver just that.**

**RyuravenFox: Things will work out just not to soon. Mikasa and Sasha will have a lot more moments soon and Annie will more than likely be there to cockblock.**

**Anyways thank you everyone for viewing I am finally over 500 views and it's more than I could ever hope for. You guys rock! The ones who review are legends and I love you all for it. **

**Follows and Favorites are nice and neat too. :D**

**Everyone knows that I do not own SnK if I did Mikasa and Sasha would run off into the sunset killing Titans and being romantic, haha sweet eh? Yay for Ymir and Christa being Canon though at least one of my ships in that show is.**

**I actually want to give shout out really quick to sasha-braus-the-potato-boss I was going to email you this to help me go over it but I lost your gmail and I haven't been on my tumblr much on the laptop. Next chapter I would love to have your help with editing. And thank you very much for offering assistants to me.**

**Love Cap'n Lynn.**

**P.s I finally downloaded Open Office and I like it, if there is any misspelling though I'd like to say it's my fault and I'll try to correct it.**


	5. Friendship

_One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and to be understood_.

- Lucius Annaeus Seneca.

Chapter Four: Friendship.

I feel like I've been jumping or rather that I've been jumpy.

After the chat with Lulu things dimmed down for me with Mikasa away with Annie and Eren off after his disagreement with Jean the house was quite. For the rest of that day I relaxed with anxiety gripping at my being for the day to come, moreover for today.

I caught a glimpse of Ymir this morning and I almost ran up to her, but I chickened out. I had this nagging feeling that I would end up saying the wrong thing and then it would turn into what happened last week except Ymir handing my ass to me.

Don't get me wrong I still feel like I deserve it and that I should hurry up and face the music, but I feel like I shouldn't do that now at least not in school and having to pay for whatever gets damaged.

So hence the jumping feeling.

"Miss Jaeger," Mr. Cullens began rather annoyed, "is there something you'd like to share with the class?"

_Besides you being a dick and singling me out instead of going over the lesson plan_?

"Excuse me sir," I sigh looking up at him rather bored, "I don't quite understand what you're talking about I've been writing my notes."

As proof I hold up my notepad with everything he's talked about during the whole class period thus far. He glares at me as a few students begin to chuckle around us.

"You're quite fidgety is something the matter," he points out showing his false concern also earning dreamy sighs from girls and one or two guys.

"Besides her being a freak?" a deep voice adds causing me to turn slightly in my seat to see the smug look on Reiner's face, of course he would have something to say when doesn't he.

"Mister Braun please reframe from snide remarks in my classroom," Mr. Cullens huffed out sternly as he spared a glance at me, "and Miss Jaeger I'd like to see you after class please."

I raise my brow slightly as I look away from the now scowling face of Reiner to glance at the clock on the wall.

I'm six minutes away from freedom and being able to face Ymir and he wants to speak with me after class?

I think not.

I turn then to face Mr. Cullens.

"I'd have to decline sir," I say simply, "I have an appointment I'm needed to attend after class and I'm afraid staying after would cause me to miss it."

"This is important," he says with a charming smile but I can see the threatening force blooming within it, "and I'm sure you can reschedule."

The room is quiet as he stares at me expectantly and I puff out a breath of air.

"Well I'm afraid I just can't do that," I say simple smiling as I gather my things, "you see I'm one of the top students in my grade," I pause as I look around the classroom letting that sink in to everyone, including Reiner who is ranked fifteenth, as I refocus my gaze on Mr. Cullens, "if you suspect something fowl is going on with me and my behavior it is your job as my teacher to notify the guidance counselor to have a chat with me," I sharpen my gaze at him, "and if you think it's behavioral call my parents I think they would love to hear with you have to say about me."

The bell rings and I throw my bag over my shoulder beginning to walk out.

"Have a nice day Mr. Cullens."

And before he could do or say anything I was out of the room and walking to my locker. My heart pounding heavily in my chest.

He just gives me the creeper kind of vibes.

As I walk to my locker I manage to bump into someone.

"I'm sorr -"

"So she speaks," a snippy bored voice coming from the person I bumped into which caused my heart to halt, "and here I thought you gone and lost your voice along with your mind."

"Ymir," I breathe out after a moment.

"Oi," she snorts flatly I can tell she is glaring at me, "so you remember my name too," she claps her hand in the vacant hallway, "it's a bloody miracle!"

Okay so I deserve that.

"I guess."

"Come again," snapping her fingers at me, "you mumbled that say that again girl who looks almost liked my best friend."

I clench my fist together as I look up at her.

"I said I -"

I stop when I notice her face due to shock.

She's paler than usual and under her eyes are bags from lack of sleep. I swallow thickly as I look her in the eyes they're frowning at me as she glares.

"Mikasa got your tongue?"

Heat rushes to my cheeks and I no longer feel guilty I turn around making my way to my locker which was five steps away. I know Ymir is following me, possibly with a smug grin.

"That's it isn't it?" she asked with amusement laced in her voice.

I whirl around before even thinking about opening my locker.

"What," I began flatly as anger and fear begin to mix together.

"I said Mikasa got your -"

I move faster than I intend to pushing her into the lockers soundly covering her mouth.

"Do you dare," I hiss out shushing her as I look around swallowing thickly before glaring heavily into her surprised brown orbs, "We'll talk at the Dojo not here."

It doesn't take long for the shock to leave her eyes as I remove my hand.

"Okay?"

"Yeah, sure," she huffs out uttlerly confused, "whatever."

She turns to leave then and I begin to feel panicky.

"Ymir," I call out stopping her in her tracks, "I'm -"

"Save it for when we have our little chat 'Tato."

I smile as she begins to walk again exiting the corridor without a glance back. That's Ymir for you to proud when it comes to things like this, but then again I'm not Christa and this was more than I hoped for. She even called me 'Tato so I'll take that as a sign and spin around opening up my locker and hastily grabbing everything I needed.

Once I finished I shut my locker and then exited the building only to spot Eren's car. The corner of my mouth twitched into a smile I hadn't drove the bike here so I was relieved that he was waiting for me.

I was about to walk over to the car when a hand grabbing ahold of my arm stopped me.

"Oh, Miss Jaeger," the smooth voice of Mr. Cullens rang out, "I thought I would find you here."

My brows scrunch together is I go to wiggle my arm out of his tight hold. He has a class this period and shouldn't be out here at this time.

"Mr. Cullens," I began as I clear my voice, "may I ask why you have such a tight hold of my arm?"

"I did state that I needed to have a word with you," he smiled charmingly at me making my stomach drop I didn't like the tone in his voice – what lay beneath it for that matter – as he kept his gaze on me, "I also saw what transpired in the hall between you and Miss Lockhart."

I bit the inside of my cheek to hold in the resort as I glared at him. Neither of us noticed another person's presense until.

"May I ask why you have ahold of her arm like that," the soft, yet strong, voice of Mikasa called out from beside us.

"E-excuse me," Mr. Cullens stammered as he reluctantly loosened his grip on my arm but did not let go of it as he fixed her a stern glare, "this is a private matter between a teacher and a student who was caught pushing another peer into a locker," he straighten his stance as he tilted his head ever so slightly as he raked his eyes over her body – I wanted to hit him right then and there – as he smiled again charmingly, "and who for that matter might you be?"

"Her older sister," Mikasa answered as her jaw muscles clenched, "I would appreciate it if you let go of her arm now even if she is wrong for what she did in the hallway you have no right to touch her and I believe my parents would like to hear of this."

I was never in a million years more than happy to see her then I was at this moment in time. Mr. Cullens had finally let go of my arm when Mikasa mentioned our parents and took a few steps away from me.

"Very well I should call them and tell them myself then," his smile stays in place but his eyes darken and I have a feeling he may be telling our parents something these entirely but before I can voice this he clears his throat and bows slightly, "have a nice day," he then rises to look at me with a crooked sort of grin, "I'll be seeing you tomorrow Miss Jaeger in detention."

"Whatever," I mumble as he walks off and Mikasa fixes me a certain kind of stare causing me to frown at her, "what?"

"Nothing," she says a moment later as she turns to walk to the car only to grab me by the hand nearly dragging me there.

"What's the rush," I huff out feeling annoyed with Mr. Cullens sudden detention thrown at me and now with Mikasa treating me like – well like a child.

She doesn't answer as she lets go of my hand opening the door. Wordlessly I climb in and she nearly slams the door on my leg as she must not be in a good mood to begin with.

I place my bag down on the floor as she climbs in. There is silence – which is typically when one is alone with her – but for once the air held something else, some more tangible?

"I'm sorry," I whisper loudly to afraid really to disturb whatever it was going on with her, with us really at the moment as I turn my head to look at her, "for having to deal with that and coming to my rescue."

She puts the key into the ignition and luckily her scarf is low enough for me to see the twitch in the corner of her lip as she suppresses a smile. As she engine comes to life she shifts gears throwing it into reverse sparing me a glance before shifting again taking off without a hitch.

"I didn't do much," she finally mutters out as she keeps her face forward, "you still got a detention for pushing Ymir – why is that?"

"Uh," heat rushes to my cheeks as I look at her with a look of pure surprise I hadn't thought about her asking me that or caring for that matter so I huff out turning to face forward as I look down at my lap, "it was a misunderstanding."

"It sounded a whole lot more than that for your _teacher,_" she paused as the venom left her mouth before clearing her throat, "said it so will you tell me what happened?"

"A misunderstanding," I repeated before sighing, "could you drop me off at the Dojo before I have to face the music at home," I ask as we come to a stop at a red light, "please?"

"Are you serious," she asked scrunching her eye brows together to look at me a moment before sighing as I nodded, "so you are – and why am I going to drop you off when you pushed her in the hall - "

"Mikasa, please."

I don't know who is more surprised her or myself. The tone in my voice feels new and by the way her blood rushes to her cheek it has an impacted on her. Before I have time to analyze or even try out that tone again she clears her throat.

"As you wish," she shifts the car moving it to the turning lane as she redirects us to Ymir's house, "but you have to tell me why you feel the need to go there before stepping foot out of this vehicle."

"Okay," I smile as a newer more familiar silence takes over. I know I have to tell her – hell she deserves some form of the truth, but I'm not ready to tell her this is by any and all means connected to the way I feel about her.

–

Twenty minutes later we pull into the parking lot where Mikasa finds a spot near the front door. Once parked she turns in her seat to look at me expectantly.

"The misunderstanding we had in the hallways was over someone that I lo – like," I huff out as I look at her, "she went to say something out loud and I well more or less shoved her into the lockers telling her to shut up so no one would over hear said person's name."

"You shoved your best friend into a locker to prevent her from saying someone's name," she muses a moment, "someone that you like?"

"Now when you put it that way it does sound bad," I pale thinking about what this all could mean for my friendship with Ymir now and wondering if I made the right decision by coming here.

"Sasha," Mikasa began as she looked at me, "I'm sure whoever he is it cannot be so bad for her to say his – "

"That's because she was going to say a girl's name," I grumble as I cut her off as I crossed my arms over my chest, "I was preventing her from saying a girls name out loud happy now?"

"No you cut me off," she said flatly causing me to look at her surprised to see the smile on her face, "if you let me finish I would have said it shouldn't matter."

"It does if she is a college student," I muttered out solemnly before realizing what I had just said.

"She's a college student?"

"Yes," I wince out trying to think up a way to get out of this conversation.

"She isn't Annie is she," Mikasa frowned as she took a better look at me, "it would make sense with the way you look at us when we kiss."

The blood leaves my body and I swear I'm about to die. She asked me if the person I liked was Annie? Of all people she would assume the girl that I loathe – the girl that has her and smirks in my face about it – I pout truly feeling hurt that she would even assume that.

"Well," she asked when I hadn't said anything still feeling wounded by what she said, "is the person you like Annie or not?"

"No," I snap out before looking down, "I'm sorry but no I don't like your perfect girlfriend so stop asking," I shake my head saying the only thing that came to mind, "her name is Levi."

"Oh," Mikasa mumble as she looked away, "I've never heard of you mentioning anyone named Levi before."

"I met her a week ago when I went to visit Connie – that's a whole nother story though and I think I'm running out of time so I should get going I need to talk to Ymir before Mama and Papa ground me."

I unbuckle my seatbelt and go to grab my bag only to stop when Mikasa gently grabs me by the arm pulling me towards her and I stiffen – only slightly – when I feel her lips against my cheek. The longer she lingers the more my heart decides to run a marathon, so I clear my throat.

"Mikasa," confusion dripping in my tone as I feel her smile against my skin causing my heart to almost short circuit due to the pure electricity courses through me causing me to blush. She removes her lips but keeps her face near mine as she rests her forehead against my temple.

It takes me a moment but I realize what she is doing and I push back the tears that start to form in my eyes. This was her way of comforting me when she knew I was upset – this was her way of showing support when it was just us, when she could just be.

For a moment I feel like I have my old Mikasa back – the one who was able to show herself to me – the one who could show her feelings for me growing up. The one before Eren and all the messes I've made after.

"It's going to be okay you know," she said finally after a long pause bringing me back from my thoughts, "Ymir she – she loves you and I'm sure things will get better for the both of you."

Before I could even begin to say anything she sits back in her seat smiling softly at me. My throat feels tight as I look at her – I feel my lips twitch into a smile and I'm sure I look terrible.

If I do she doesn't say.

I go to get out of the car, but I stop and without thinking I lean over kissing Mikasa softly on the corner of her mouth. I pull back a second later and feel slightly disappointed with how neutral her face looks.

"Thank you," I smile at her forcing my feelings away as I chide myself for being an idiot, "that means a lot to me."

I push open the door then and climb out without a glance back until Mikasa calls out for me causing me to poke my head in looking rather confused.

"What?"

"Don't worry about mother and father," she answers smiling at me, "I saw the whole thing with your teacher and I'll tell them what happened."

"Oh," was all I muttered, "OH," I say a moment later finally understanding what she meant, "thank you!"

"You're welcome," she responds with a smile before putting on her seatbelt, "now be off with you I'm sure Ymir is waiting."

I nod my head waving goodbye as I shut the door behind me.

With the situation with Mr. Cullens pretty much dealt with I feel renewed energy rise within me as I head for the door. As I grab the handle I realize this is the longest I've ever been with Mikasa and without thinking I open the door with a smile.

"Well look at what the cat dragged in," a deep voice whistled out, "and here I thought you'd stay away looks like I owe Blain twenty bucks."

I raise my brow slightly as I come face to face – well face to chest – with Brimir, one of Ymir's older brothers, who is smirking at me.

"You guys placed a bet?"

"Even better," another deep voice adds, "she has her voice back I guess Lucina was right after all."

I glance at the twins then feeling mildly offended that they thought Lulu was lying to them when she mentioned I could talk again, but I held back from saying anything when I noticed them smiling at me.

In truth – though they are twins and could look alike – they do look quite different from one another. Brimir, who is the eldest, looks like Ymir with his facial expression, though much kinder, and hair – which is the same color and length as hers – while Blain looks like an exact younger copy of their father Ari, minus having freckles which all of their siblings have.

"Sasha," a younger male voice shouts out as I turn to see a small brown blur charge at me.

"Ooft – "

"You've been gone so long," Leon whines out as he wraps his little arms around my waist and in a moment I lean down to hug him back.

"I know," I smile sadly, "I'm sorry Leo."

I look up then as the twins smile at me and then shift my gaze to notice that Ari and Steffen are both watching me. I stiffen as I hold on to little Leon fearing the worst as they approach me.

"Ah, Sasha," Ari greets me with a smile, "good to see you dear."

"Come back to beat up our daughter?"

I freeze as I loosen my hold of Leon.

"Steffen," Ari scolds him before turning to look at me, "Lucina mentioned you'd be here along with Ymir – she is in her room."

I nod my head as I shift my gaze to look at Steffen.

"I'm sorry Papa Steffen."

"It's fine I must say I was impressed with how you surprised Ymir," he chuckled waving my apology off, "to be honest I was meaning to scary you and give you the father-y talk about you putting your hand on my daughter, but given her track record and how many times she has bruised and beaten you I'd say she had it coming."

I breathe out a sigh of relief only to freeze in place once more as he glared at me.

"Now that being said I also like to tell you what I told Ymir I will not tolerate anymore of either of you hurting each other understood?"

"Yes sir," was all I could manage to say at that moment as he in turn sighed.

"You're like family if you hadn't noticed," Ari spoke out as Steffen smiled at me and Leon hugged me tighter, "and it hurt us in knowing you and Ymir went to such heights over a girl – though we absolutely adore Christa we still were not pleased with your little wager and Ymir's reaction to it."

"I understand."

"Good," he smiles at me then, "Ymir is in her room Lucina had picked her up and brought her home and took Markus, Lars and Sif to get groceries."

"Oh," I say dumbly as I pat Leon on the head and then remove him from me gently handing him over to his fathers, "I should go see Ymir then we have a lot to catch up on."

"Alright," Ari smiles as he looks over at Steffen, "you should be heading into the Dojo section to keep an eye on things," he turns to the twins who were still standing there, "you two go with your Papa I'll be heading to my study to work on case files."

"Yes father," the say in unisons as they both look at me and wave mouthing good luck as they went.

"Leon," Steffen calls after he kisses Ari on the cheek, "come along son we are going to supervise."

"Okay," he shouts out happily before looking back at me, "good luck with 'Mir Sasha!"

I laugh as he and his Papa walk to the main door leading to their gym and then turn to the hallway leading into their home. Technically I could go straight through the gym and be near Ymir's room, but choose to walk the longer route to clear my head.

It was good to know that Ari and Steffen were happy to see me and I was glad to see the boys again. Though I was still missing Markus and Lars also little Sif, but if things go well I'll be seeing them again so that was something to look forward to.

It takes fifteen minutes, but I'm right in front of Ymir's door so I take a deep breath and go to knock on her door only to jump back nearly dropping my bag as she flings it open.

"Where the hell could she be she said she would – oh."

"Hey," I squeaked out causing her to smirk, "you're family bombarded me."

"Well you haven't been here in like a hundred years so it's expected," she points out giving me the 'duh' look, "and anyways you're here now so that counts."

I nod my head smiling slightly as I look at her room.

"Woah," I marvel as I scan it from her door.

"What," she huffs out before looking behind her, "oh well yeah Christa came over and instead of sexy time we – "

"Okay I get the picture," I laugh, "I guess she got tired of the mess."

"Oi," Ymir glare/pouts at me as she punched me in the arm, "my room is manageable."

"Yeah," I breathe out as I laugh, "a manageable mess!"

"Shut your face," she grumbles as she hits me again a smile forming on her face before she sombers up, "so you gonna tell me the truth or must I guess?"

"The truth," I wheeze out as I straighten up, "so long as you let me in your room."

"Done deal," she smirks, "so waltz that ass in here so we can get this over with."

I roll my eyes and then salute her causing her to chuckle as I walk in dropping my bag by her door and then plopping down on her newly made bed.

Yesh, Christa must have really been tired of Ymir's shit because this room is spotless.

"I didn't know you even had hardwood floors," I point out as I look around, "and since when do you have a shelf?"

"Hey now watch it," Ymir warns with a glare, "I've had them forever not my fault you're terrible at paying attention."

"Right," I drawl out before sighing, "so what do you wanna know Freckles?"

"Start from where you blow up on me."

"Oh," I look down at the floor, "well it started when you where on top of me."

"Oh," she drags out causing me to look at her as she drops down beside me, "couldn't resist you're attraction for me, eh," I giggle as she wiggles her eye brow at me with that wolfish grin of hers, "it's okay to admit that I'm sexy 'Tato everyone comes to terms with it eventually."

I end up wacking her in the head with her pillow as I huff out, "right you're absolutely gorgeous, but let me continue please."

"Fine," she pouts, "carry on."

"Right," I sigh bringing her pillow to my front, "well I notice that everyone is looking at us – including Mikasa who was still rather engaged in her spout with _Annie_," I wince at the harshness in my voice and I know Ymir noticed it too, but she says nothing so I push on, "She gave me this look and in that moment I did not care that you were screaming god knows what at me it only mattered that Mikasa was looking at me and well Annie – I guess she didn't like that so she grabbed Mikasa by her scarf and kissed her," my throat tightens and I start to struggle, "I – I just don't know why I – I just snap – like that moment played over and over in my head and I – well I just," I looked at Ymir then fully, "I mean you were there – you were hovering over me just screaming at me and then I just it all comes out and I blank – I truly fucking blank and I'm so sorry that it was you I took it out on that it was you that I hurt."

No words are said as Ymir pulls me into her arms holding on to me as tears I hadn't notice began to fall in great succession. I grab ahold of her shirt tightly as if she'll push me away, but that only drives her to hold on tighter.

I'm not sure how long we sit there but by the time I'm done Lulu strolls in.

"Oh," she muses as she looks at us, "I'm glad to see that you two kissed and made up."

Ymir unwinds one of her arms from me and gives her sister the finger causing me to chuckle.

"Good to see you too Lu," I clear my throat then at the dry feeling I gained from crying, "what time is it?"

"It's 5:47 p.m," she smiles, "I just got back with the groceries the gym is still open if that is what you're trying to ask."

I nod my head then look at Ymir.

"How about a good clean fight and if you win you get to ride my bike?"

"Hells to the yeah," Ymir smirks, "scared if we actually brawl that Papa will gut us?"

"Yes," I laugh out, "have you even seen your Papa?"

"Well duh," she chuckles, "he did help raise me ya know?"

"Right," I sigh as I go to say thank you to Lulu only to notice she is gone.

"Ya know eighteen years and she still manages to do that shit."

"Lulu," I giggle as I stand, "silent but deadly."

"True," Ymir drawls out as she stands and stretches, "better get ready to get your ass handed to you Spud."

I roll my eyes as I take off my shirt and begin to pull down my pants.

"Woah, woah, woah," Ymir stammers out, "what the hell are you doing?"

"Getting ready," I laugh as she glares at me as I bend down to undo my boots and kick them off along with my pants, "if you hadn't noticed already I am wearing my sports bra and shorts."

"I can see that," she grunts out as she takes her shirt off as well, "warn me next time though."

"Whatever," I chuckle as I drop my clothes near my bag then grab my shoes, "I'll meet you out on the mat don't take to long."

"Sure sure," she waves out and with that I leave her room.

"Oh Sas," Ymir calls from her door causing me to stop, "I always knew you had the hots for tall, dark and silent – even if she is suppose to be your sister she technically isn't so I say go for it."

"Easier said then done," I mumble as I walk away from her room down the hall only to push open the double doors leading to the gym.

I'm taken aback the moment I see Birmir sparring with a blond haired guy about the same height as him and then even more surprised when I see Blain taken to the ground by a girl with long black hair.

"I yield," Blain yells out as the girl grabs ahold of his arm, "Levi I yield let go!"

My heart stops as I tilt my head only to notice that she is in fact the same Levi from a week ago.

_No shit it really is a small world after all_.

"Then that must mean – "

"Nanabu," Birmir wheezes out, "enough man I'm done."

"You've really let yourself go Bir," Nanabu chuckles before looking my way, "oh – hey you're that girl we saved from those guys!"

"I wouldn't say saved," I chuckle as he walks near me along with Levi who took notice to me as well

Nanabu lets out a hearty laugh as he looks at me "you never did give out you're name."

"You mean Sasha here," Blain winced out as he readjusted his arm, "she's a black belt I doubt she needs protection."

"What – you're serious?"

"I'm right here you know," I pout as I take my eyes off of the now sulking blond to look at Levi who is half naked – like myself – which causes me to blush. She has abs like Mikasa and it takes everything in my being to not want to go over there and touch them.

"Hello, Sasha," she says politely as she looks at me, "nice to finally see you again do you by any chance come here often?"

"Uooooh look out," Birmir cackles out unattractively, "looks like Levi is interested."

"So what if I am," she points out as she glares at him causing him to shut up as she looks back at me, "I'm sorry would you like to chat somewhere else?"

"Uh," was all I could stammer out as I tried to keep my eyes on her face.

"Actually," Ymir drawls out as she wraps an arm around my shoulder, "my best mate here owes me a match so if you don't mind try talking with her another time."

I swallow thickly as Levi looks at us and then nods her head.

"Very well," she smiles at me before turning to face the blond, "since you have beaten Birmir why not spar with me before having to go pick up Petra?"

"Alright sounds fair," Nanabu smirks before looking over at me, "can't wait to see you in action I wanna see if you really are black belt material."

I nod my head with a smile as I look at Levi a moment – only to blush again feeling rather guilty – and then to look at Ymir who is giving me a questionable stare.

I don't know what to say or what I'm really feeling for that matter so I just shrug and walk to the mat.

"You ready," I call out, "if I win I still want to have Christa to go see a movie with me."

"How about, "Ymir scowls as she gets into position, "we all go see a movie if you win?"

"Aha," I point at her, "you just said if I win."

Ymir moves quickly grabbing my arm as she goes to flip me over, "that's right I said IF you win Spud I still have an advantage here – "

I use that flip as momentum to land on my feet countering with a flip of my own.

"What are we going to talk the entire time or are we going to spar?"

I hear Nanabu's laughter to our right and I know it's because of what I said. Ymir scowls as she jumps to her feet taking her stance.

"Well come at me then Princess so I can hand your ass to you."

"Only if I can drop kick yours to Christa."

And as Ymir – with a smile – goes to throw her next punch at me I know deep down in my heart that things will definitely be alright and as I spare a glance at Levi I realize that maybe I should pay more attention to my feelings or at least try to figure out every time she looks at me I feel butterflies causing trouble in my stomach and guilt to grip at me at the same time.

I'll think about those things later though as I trade blow for blow with my best friend knowing that no matter what happens she'll always be in my corner.

_Author's Notes__**: **_**And here my lovely readers is Chapter Four!**

**I'm sorry if it was hella confusing and that it may not be all to grand, but I also hope you like some of the moments within it.**

**Ymir's siblings family will be designed later on – better when I get a drawing tablet so it shall be a while but yeah she has a big family.**

**RyuravenFox: Ymir knew or had a guess to what was partly troubling her friend so I hope that helps you! **

**Soi Yo: I hope you continue to like this story as it progresses and that you love that I paired Mikasa with Sasha! I shall try and update more so you have more chapters to read.**

**Rosiema: I'm happy to know that! I like the readers to know each character and those this story is mainly about Sasha, like coming of age and discovery, I wanted you – the readers – to know who she interacted with besides her family and such, if that makes any sense at all?**

**RED TIGER SKUNK: Yay, you reviewed! Haha, thank you and I hope you keep cheering Sasha on. C:**

**Assasin718: Okay so the talk will progress more with Ymir and Sasha – this was just a for now thing. As the story keeps going they'll talk more about Sasha's feelings for Mikasa and everything else that follows. I hope you keep reading man and I look forward to seeing a review from you!**

**Anak7: I love you for loving my story.**

**Haha thank you everyone for the views, reviews, follows and favorites. You all are amazing.**

**Disclaimers are as followed I do not own anything – save for Ymir's family! And that's about it.**

**Love Cap'n Lynn.**

**P.s I sometimes make mistakes and that shows in my writing I apologize for any and all mishaps!**


	6. Unexpected

"_If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours._"

- Henry David Thoreau

Chapter Five: Unexpected.

It had been four days since Ymir and I patched things up.

Four days to remind myself that next week will be the end of this month and that the month after I will be graduating.

Time certainly does fly.

Luckily the day after things settled themselves I did not have to serve detention with Mr. Cullens, thanks to Mikasa for telling our parents what she saw, and thus I did not gain any further hindrance from him. Though he does glare at me an awful lot and occasionally leer at me.

All in all he is still the creeper of a two faced teacher.

I've also learned through Eren, after he finally resurfaced from Armin's home, that the college he and Mikasa were attending is currently under renovation after mold was found throughout the campus and dorms.

Meaning that for the rest of their schooling this year they will be at home doing online classes. Which also means I'll be seeing more of Mikasa and well with how things have shifted between the two of us I'd like to say that I'm glad for this.

At the current moment I'm pulling on a shirt over my sports bra and packing the rest of my clothes into my bag to head to the Dojo. Even though today is a Friday we didn't have school today it has something to do with teachers preparing for our Finals – which makes me nervous and excited.

I am more than grateful for the break away from school I was even allowed to sleep in! Though I did miss Eren and Mikasa leave to retrieve their belongings. From what Mama told me when I woke up – which was around 11:00 a.m – that they left around six this morning to beat the traffic by an hour.

It's understandable really since their school is an hour away but I still wanted a hug goodbye.

I shake my head clearing any and all thoughts.

"Sasha," the muffled sound of Mama's voice echoed throughout the hallway, "come here when you're done please!"

I grimace slightly as a list of things I possibly forgot to do flashed through my eyes.

I did the dishes, washed my bike, took the trash out, made sure everything was clean though I could have forgotten something I just didn't know what.

"Sasha?"

"I'll be right there," I holler down now feeling concerned.

I don't waste anytime since I have my bag packed – though my hair is still down - as I walk out of my room in a hurry and nearly fall down the stairs as I make way to the kitchen.

Mama is standing there with her back turned to me.

I swallow thickly.

"Yes mama?"

"Oh," she hums out as she turns to look at me with a smile, "that was fast."

"You said to come down once I was finished," I frowned, "I didn't forget a chore did I?"

She shakes her head with a giggle causing me to relax as she leans into the counter.

"Of course not sweetheart I just wanted to tell you that I'll be taking you to the Dojo and then I'll be going to visit your father."

"I thought I was going to take the bike," I ask as I scrunch my brows together, "I mean won't that be less time consuming?"

"Nonsense," Mama chuckled, "I thought I'd take you as a mother daughter bonding time."

A part of me wants to say no, but Mama looks at me with her big soft honey irises a pout etching it's way into her features and all at once I don't have the heart to say it.

"Okay," I smile widely – a true smile – as I tilt my head, "when will we be leaving?"

"Now if you like I'm sure you want to hurry and see Ymir and Jean."

"Alright, I'll go wait in the car."

"Okay sweetie I'll be there shortly."

I nod my head as I walk into the garage – to Mama's car – and once I'm inside it I lean my head against the rest and close my eyes.

A few heart beats later the door opens and Mama climbs in.

"So little darling," Mama hums out as she ignites the vehicle to life, "how are you faring with Finals coming up?"

"Just fine," I smile brightly as I keep my eyes closed, "technically I can graduate now I have more than enough credits to do so."

"But wouldn't you miss your friends," worry has twined itself into her concern causing me to open my eyes and look at her, "I mean you have a month left surely you would stay in?"

"I was going to Mama," I pout which earns me a faint chuckle as she backs out of the garage all the way to the end of the drive way until she maneuvers us to the point we're headed down the road – albeit much like we would if Eren was driving.

"I've been meaning to ask," Mama began with a light chirp flicking her gaze at me before refocusing on the road, "have you met anyone recently?"

I tense as I tilt my head trying to ease my body into relaxing as I look at her.

"What do you mean Mama?"

"Any special boy or girl in your life," she tries again with a smile, "don't worry if you like or fancy a girl darling your father and I are fully supportive as we are with Mikasa even though your father still is wary of Annie."

"_Papa definitely isn't the only one_ _," _I thought before shaking my head with a smile.

"I haven't met anyone that I would consider special besides making new acquaintances but other than that no."

"Are you sure," she asks, "because you've seemed a lot happier as of late and Mikasa mentioned someone named Levi last I spoke to her."

I freeze keeping my eyes trained on the road. Mikasa mentioned Levi to Mama? Why would she or rather how could she? I feel my heart hammering against my rib cage – each thump more painful then the next, but all I could do was suck in an a deep breath before exhaling softly calming my nerves as I force a smile on my face.

"I've met a Levi – yes," then slowly – deliberately I look at Mama with what I hope is a curious gaze, "what all did Mikasa tell you?"

"It was the darnedest thing really your sister walked into the kitchen a week ago to tell your us that you were being harassed by your teacher Mr. Cullens and of course your father was furious so he went to his study to call the school and well," Mama paused as we reached one of the stop signs before sighing, "she asked me if she could have some advice – which was the first time that she has ever asked for such a thing so I smiled and told her yes – and well she told me that you happened to like someone named Levi and that she wanted to know what she should and should not ask while discussing relationships with you."

"I uh," I swallow down the stammer trying to claw it's way through my throat as I look at the road, "I mean Levi is attractive yes and I may have a slight crush on her but I doubt it would be more than friendship between the two of us."

I smile at how true those words felt, but still felt odd about the situation. Mikasa had went to Mama for advice so I don't necessarily blame Mikasa for telling Mama, but at the same time I feel all the more curious as to why she did when she could have asked me, but I guess we're still distant than close so I just sigh.

"Don't be upset with your sister she worries over things when it comes to you."

I look at Mama then furrowing my brows.

"She does?"

"She does," Mama smiles sadly, "she just doesn't know how to properly show it or even voice what she is feeling half the time – when your father and I began to raise her she was constantly with your brother the two practically joined at the hip and then Eren and his accident – " she tenses and I can tell it isn't easy for her to talk about even now so I smile softly.

"It's okay Mama you don't have to tell me."

"Maybe not today," she smiles thankfully at me, "at any rate we're here."

I snap my gaze from Mama to notice that we are in fact in front of the Dojo so I unbuckle and then turn in my seat leaning forward kissing Mama on her forehead – to comfort her from her thoughts – and smile as I pull back.

"I love you Mama bear," I sing out as I open the door climbing out with my bag in tow.

"I love you too my little bear," she sings out happily and with a quick wave I shut the door and head inside.

I push away any and all thoughts of our little talk as I make my way to the dressing room designated for guests only to stop when I hear rather strange...noises?

I inch closer to the door risking to sneak a peek and ultimately I regret it because I see Nanabu holding Petra in a rather peculiar sort of position causing me to stumble back with eyes wide and cheeks possibly stained red as I crash rather ungracefully on the floor.

"What was that," I hear Petra's muffled voice as she moans out again, "Nanabu stop that I heard something."

"I didn't hear anything babe," he chuckles, "besides if we're found out it's because you were lost in the passion enjoying yourself am I right?"

I hear a loud distinctive smack and a definitively deep yelp.

"Ow babe that hurt," Nanabu whined and I'm pretty sure he is pouting.

"Get over it," Petra chuckles and then moans out rather loudly causing my heart to hammer as I stagger to my feet, "please," I hear Petra beg as I turn around with wide eyes, "go faster and hurry I'm suppose to be visiting Christa today."

"As you wish," I hear Nanabu say in that deep voice of his and shake my head as I walk or rather stumble away quickly.

"I am forever going to be scared for life," I mumble as I make my way to Ymir's room to change. I wonder what Petra meant when she said she was suppose to be visiting Christa though?

Without thinking or paying attention I fling Ymir's door open only to be frozen in place.

"For fucks sake," I choke out as I stare wide eyed at Ymir on top of a half naked Christa, "not you guys too!"

"Oi, close the fucking door," Ymir growls out she peeks over her shoulder, "or stand there like an idiot and watch we'll even give you a little show – ow!"

"Ymir," Christa warned flatly before peeking over her shoulder to peer at me, "I'm sorry Sasha but can you shut the door we'll be out in like ten minutes."

"But Christa," Ymir whines about to speak when Christa leans forward capturing Ymir's mouth with her own.

I take that as a sign and slam the door shut red faced as I try to get the images of my best friends out of my head.

"Dammit," I mutter out as I kick off my shoes wiggling out of my pants.

"_Looks like I'm changing in the fucking hallway just great fucking rabbits they are_."

A thought struck me then causing the blood to drain from my face as I pull my t shirt off.

"_What if Mikasa and that blonde..._"

I shake my head as I open up my bag pulling out my boots. Now is not the time to be thinking about that even though I know it's useless they could be for all I know and the idea of it doesn't set well with me at all.

_But what can I do about it_?

I push open the double doors leading into the Dojo area while I was pulling my hair back – luckily I was fast enough to miss getting hit, but I still manage to bump in to someone.

"Walk much – oh hey Sasha," Jean smiled as I looked at him, "you hardly walk properly so I won't hold it against you."

"Oh, Jean," I gasp looking at him with mock hurt as I pout, "I'm wounded I thought we talked about you – talking about yourself."

He rolls his eyes at my cheeky smile before wrapping an arm around my shoulder.

"Whatever Potato Girl so tell me why the long face?"

"Says the Horse Boy," I grunt out as I elbow him in the side, "and my face is fine I accidentally walked in on Ymir and Christa."

"Yikes," he chuckled out, ""I'm guessing Ymir is out for your blood now that you ruined her 'sexy time' with her princess."

"No, not this time I think Christa was in one of her moods," I giggle a moment before looking rather enlightened, "besides I came here to spar so if she wants to go we'll go."

"Actually," a soft voice beside us calls out startling us both, "if you're looking to spar someone Sasha I'd like to if you don't mind?"

"I – uh..."

"You're Levi Ackerman," Jean whistles out as he moves his arm from my shoulder, "you have been ranked number one in the last four years in the Iron Fist tournaments!"

I look at Jean and then I look at Levi completely thrown off by what Jean said, but then again I didn't know Levi's last name so I kept my mouth shut studying her. She merely shrugged regarding Jean for a moment before shifting her gaze to me.

I feel that awkward flutter in my chest but push it aside as I smile at her.

"I'd like that actually," I turn to look at Jean, "I'll speak to you later," my gaze then moves down to his neck and I roll my eyes as I push myself to the mat whispering softly, "I didn't realize Marco was a biter."

Once I reach the mat I turn and face Levi who wasn't that far behind me which causes me to take my stance.

"Don't go easy on me," I warn her, "it would be heartbreaking if you did."

"Alright," she smiles faintly as she takes her stance, "ready?"

"Ready," I call out only to dodge the first punch Levi throws at me and stumble back landing on my butt as she goes to move again.

"I thought you were ready," she smirks playfully as she stands there towering over me.

"Yeah well you're fast," I counter sticking out my tongue as I stand.

Levi takes a few steps back – smirk in place – as she takes her stance again looking at me with her playful gray irises.

"How about we have a wager," she says finally after a moment.

"A wager," I asked skeptically as I look at her smilingly slightly, "go on?"

"If I win you go on a date with me."

I feel my heart flutter awkwardly a part of me liking this idea, but Mikasa flashes before my eyes and I force out a smile as I focus on Levi.

"And if I win?"

"Whatever you want," she says evenly, "within reason though I won't partake in criminal activity."

"Party pooper," I frown before taking my stance, "if I win I'll think of something."

"Fair enough," she says cooly before focusing on me, "are you ready this time?"

"Yeah," I smile only to grit my teeth as she lunges at me again. Levi is fast – about as fast as Mikasa – if not faster as I nearly get hit by her seventh punch, but I'm determined.

When she goes for her ninth punch I duck – she has been favoring her fists – so I sweep my leg against hers smiling when I make contact failing to notice her right fist.

She hits me in the side and I stagger backwards – it wasn't particularly hard but it still surprised me – as I look at her.

"You are making this a little to easy Sasha," she smiles out as she goes to hit me again, "it's almost like you want to go on a date with me."

That snaps me from my surprise as I block her hit – grabbing her by the arm – and flip her on her back. She looks stunned, only for a moment, as she gets up to round house kick me in the stomach – a little harder than her punch, but luckily I grabbed her by her leg and swung her to the ground.

She gets back up – a smile permanently on her features – as she lunges at me once again. I side step her with ease finding my center as I managed to hit her in the arm. She spins around going to kick me, but I use my palm pushing her leg back down and dodge the punch she goes to throw by throwing one of my own.

I hit her in the chest this time – not hard – and then I smile at her.

"Am I making this to easy for you now," I'm surprised by how voice drops an octave or two and blush when I'm being tossed over Levi and pinned on my back.

"_Shit that hurt,_" I wince as I look up at Levi – her eyes three shades darker stare back at me – I swallow thickly as I look straight into them, "_she almost looks like Mikasa with long hair_."

I start to squirm when an image of Mikasa on top of me looking at me like Levi is flashes before my eyes causing my breath to hitch when she adds pressure as she leans forward – breath ghosting the shell of my ear as she huffs out ,"do you yield yet?"

I feel a weird pull in my gut and I buck into Levi – surprising her as I manage to flip our positions – and with a shakey smile I look down at her.

"Not yet," I get off of her ignoring the catcalls and wolf whistles as I take my stance again, "I still haven't figured out what I wanted if I win."

"Let's continue then," she smiles as she gets up going at me again.

She starts to throw an onslaught of fast punches that I keep parleying – which must be frustrating – as we begin to dance and then I think back to when Mikasa and Annie were sparring how they looked before I went and sparred with Ymir.

We begin to attract a crowd – I faintly hear Jean and Ymir cheering me on and Nanabu yelling for Levi to end it – but we're in the moment.

A moment that I don't want to end so I keep pushing.

"This is the longest I've sparred," Levi says offhandedly as she takes a swing at me, "you should feel honored."

"I'll get on my knees and bow to your magnificence later," I fire back not thinking about my words as Levi stares at me oddly a faint blush covers her cheeks.

"Wait – I didn't mean – " I don't have time to cover up my mishap as Levi kicks me in the leg and in one swift motion I am on my back again with her looking down at me with that sharp intense gaze of herself causing me to groggily look away from her only for my heart to halt when I notice a different pair of gray to stare at me.

I go to move, but Levi's hold is impossible to get out of at the moment, but my gaze hasn't faltered from Mikasa.

"_How long has she been standing there_," I wonder frantically as I try to move my body again and then in my misery I see Annie next to Mikasa moving her hand gripping Mikasa's backside rather suggestively spurring that same feeling I felt when she kissed Mikasa.

I force my gaze to Levi who is looking at me rather surprised – and I, without really thinking – use that to my advantage as I use my legs flipping her over me and then pin her halting my fist an inch from her face.

"Do you yield," I rasp out as I gaze down at her – her expression is just as surprised as it was moments before – only to snap back to reality looking up at me.

"Yes."

I let out a soft breath as I lean forward kissing her cheek and then pull away blushing as I go to stand and hold out my hand.

Levi looks at it for a moment before smiling faintly and allows me to hoist her up.

"Thank you," I say to her earnestly keeping my gaze strictly on her not wanting to cause a scene like I did last time.

"No – thank you," she says simply with a shrug, "if you were anyone else I would have been done within the first ten minutes of sparring."

I smile at her and then shake my head.

"So I won."

"So you did," she smiles at me, "I don't have to do anything god awful that I'll regret now will I?"

"No," I tell her simply, "uhm, how about we exchange numbers and you can tell me details on this date you had in mind?"

She stares at me and when my words sink in I am graced with a true smile as she pushes her bangs away from her sweat slick forehead. Which causes my eyes to down cast and –

"_Holy shit,_" I blush heavily as I take notice of her body. She is practically shining under the light. Her toned stomach defined beautifully and I begin to feel awkward again as I look away and nearly jump when I notice how close Ymir, Jean, Eren – who is glaring at Jean – and Mikasa are – Annie was at least ten paces away from them looking bored.

"Sasha," Levi calls out drawing my attention away from them, "I'll be right back with my phone alright?"

"Okay," I say simply as she smiles at me and then turns to walk towards the double doors – possibly to the guest dressing rooms.

"Holy shit 'Tato," Ymir's voice cuts me from whatever thought was about to present itself as I look at her, "you lasted like almost an hour and a half with the champ and got her to _yield_!"

"We were only sparing," I say lamely as rub the back of my neck, "I'm going to need a shower."

"I think you're gonna need more than a shower," Jean chuckled as he looked at me, "lucky you're not a guy because I know you'd still have a boner with the way you were looking at her when she pinned you the first time."

I tense and luckily Eren saves me from my embarrassment.

"Oh come off of it Kristen that's my kid sister you're talking about," Eren yells as he glares at Jean.

"Really Jaeger," Jean drawls out, "because from where I'm standing everyone would think you're the kid brother!"

"Why you little – "

"Oi, take that shit somewhere else," Ymir warns as she glares at them before looking at me, "and Jean man is right for once you two were practically doing it on the mat each time you pinned one another."

I can feel the heat well into my ears as I look at them – I spare Mikasa a glance she looks almost hurt but then she looks at me and I look away – looking back at Ymir who studies my expression.

"Wanna crash here for the night?"

"Depends," I huff out masking my face with a teasing smile, "did you change the sheets?"

Ymir looks at me a long moment boring her dark eyes into me before cracking a grin.

"Christa made me clean up after you barged in – which I'm still not happy about."

"You can ride the bike for a day."

"Deal all is forgiven," Ymir smiles – like a dork as she from what I'm assuming is picturing herself driving my motorcycle around.

I smile at her and nearly jump when I feel a hand touch my arm I look over to see Levi looking at me with a smile still in place.

"Petra is done visiting her cousin and I have to catch a ride with them to get to our apartment so may I have you're number before leaving please?"

"S-sure," I stammer before gently taking her phone from her hand and being putting my information in her contact list and then hand the device back to its owner, "there you go all set text me when you can."

Without saying anything Levi stands on the tips of her toes and kisses my cheek gently pulling back slightly as she looks me in the eyes.

"Thank you and I'll leave you details about our date after I shower."

"Sounds fine to me," I grin at her – the odd feeling is back - as I step away from her and watch as she turns on her heels walking out of the training area with an extra sway in her step.

I look around after she is gone noticing that Ymir wandered off to supervise Jean and Eren. I sigh as they keep bickering at each other.

"Sometimes I think they like each other," the voice of Mikasa startles me – almost giving me a heart attack – as I nearly jump turning my head to look at her. Her gaze has yet to leave the two bickering teens so I take my own gaze away from her to look at them.

"I use to think that too," I confess, "but then I see the way Eren looks at Armin and the way Jean practically melts when he is with Marco so I don't any more," I smile as I look at her again ignoring my feelings, "I think if they would make great friends if they set aside their differences."

She finally looks away from them – now staring right at me and my heart speeds up instantly – thoughts of Levi and whatever feelings I may or may not have for her float away and I smile kindly.

"You think so," Mikasa began slowly as she shifts a little closer to me, "because I still think they like each other."

"Pretty positive," I chuckle, "besides it would be weird if they were with each other."

"Why do you say that," she asks giving me this odd kind of look.

"They're to similar in a sense," I began as I turn my head to look at Jean who has Eren in a head lock, "sure they have many differences but when it comes down to it they act a lot like each other and sure maybe that would be nice for a little while, but in the end they would grow tired and crave for something more."

"More?"

"Yeah," I hum out as I look at her, "sure it's nice to be with someone who likes the same things you do or acts similar to how you act, but I think the greatest joy in life is to be with someone who demands more out of you – like bringing out the better – and if you found that someone and they happened to be with someone else the honorable thing to do is let that person be happy despite how you feel – even if your emotions are overpowering at times."

It hits me then – the impact of my own words as I look down at the floor.

"Annie does make you happy right?"

"She – "

Before Mikasa utters a word Ymir is yelling her name and telling her to take Eren home – in a more colorful manner.

I sigh as she turns to look at me and nearly jump when she pulls me into a hug.

"Thank you for the chat," she says faintly before kissing my cheek – in the same spot Levi has already touched – and pulls away walking over to Eren.

I blink once – okay so maybe a few times as I stand there – I sense someone is watching me so I keep my face neutral even though I want to smile. I look around and then spot Annie looking at me – her gaze isn't so friendly so I – in a way to be a better person – smile slightly at her.

That only makes her glare more as she moves to be near Mikasa.

"Sasha," Ymir calls out drawing my attention for Annie, "Pops is about to close the gym so go call mommy dearest and tell her you're crashing here."

I nod my head sparing Mikasa a glance – who is looking at me, causing me to blush and look back at Ymir.

"Okay," I then make my way through the double doors to where I left my bag by Ymir's door.

Fumbling for a moment I retrieve my phone, sliding my finger across the screen and wince at how bright the light is set. When my eyes adjust to the lighting I stare dumbly at the screen.

**2 New Messages.**

I tap the screen and right away I notice that Mikasa has left me a message along with an unknown one that I'm pretty sure I have a good guess on so I click on it.

**Hello Sasha I thought I would text you before I showered and thanked you. No one has ever intrigued me such as you have and if it isn't to much to ask I was wonder if you would like to grab some coffee with me soon? If not I'll understand.**

**Levi**

I stare at the message a moment and I feel crossed. On one hand I feel excited – nervous really – and that I should say yes right away, but on the other I feel rather hesitant.

_Wonder what Mikasa said_.

I click back on Levi's message – tapping lightly on my screen – and then stare at Mikasa's words.

**Sasha, I'll tell mother that you are spending the night with Ymir and I was wondering if you would like me to bring you anything?**

**- Mikasa**

I bite my bottom lip slightly re-reading her message before smiling faintly.

**Thank you, but no I have spare clothes here and an extra pillow. Will you or Eren be able to pick me up in the morning?**

I hit send and then collect my bag walking into Ymir's room – and again I am surprised with how spotless it is.

"Chris made me clean," Ymir sighed causing me to turn and look at her, "after you rudely barged in so if I end up cuddling extra close to you tonight just know I'm not thinking about you I'm thinking about the possibilities of what could have happened before your poor timing."

"Put up a sign next time," I grunt out before smiling, "and I knew you found me attractive Freckles it's okay to cuddle with me you don't need any excuses."

"As if," Ymir laughed loudly making me pout, "oh come off it you – you're stunning and if I hadn't worked the nerves to win Christa I definitely would have lured you into my bed for..." she started to laugh again, "I'm sorry I mean I would but we'd only be friends with benefits because I prefer blondes."

I hit her arm then pouting.

"Whatever you say jerk you're not exactly my type either," I point out as I walk over to her bed dropping down on it with my phone on my stomach.

"Right," she drawls on plopping down beside me, "I've noticed that so tell me what's with you and the mini champion?"

"I'm not sure," I sigh, "I mean I met her like two weeks ago almost and she's been nice each time we've talked so I guess I may have a slight crush on her," I wince though, "but it could be me trying to force my feelings to change for Mikasa because Levi reminds me of her."

"Oh," Ymir said awkwardly before shaking her head, "have you told Mikasa how you felt at all?"

"No," I grumble out nearly jumping as I felt my phone vibrate on my stomach. I pick it up ignoring the look Ymir is giving me.

**I will be spending the night with Annie, but Eren said he will be able to. We love you Sasha and I hope you have sweet dreams.**

**- Mikasa**

I swallow thickly as I read her message. I should have figured as much.

_We love you._

**Okay...have fun and I love you guys, too!**

I sigh slightly before reopening Levi's message.

"What's wrong," Ymir asks me cautiously, "nothing to serious right?"

"No," I'm not sure if I sound convincing, but I'm to engrossed in my typing to care.

**Sure I'd like that...how about Monday say around two o'clock if you're free?**

My mind is racing then with a series of questions.

Mikasa is dating Annie – do I like that? No.

Does that change my feelings for Mikasa any? No.

Will I try to break them up? No.

So what's the harm in getting to know Levi? None.

Maybe and I'm only going with maybe because I'm not entirely certain about this. A small part of me hopes my feelings will change and that I will grow to like Levi if this become more than just getting to know each other, but a greater more dominate part is scared.

_What if nothing changes at all_ _or what if everything changes completely_.

All the while I push aside my thoughts and focus on the now.

Ymir mumbles something and ends up whacking me in the head with a pillow. Yelling at me to go take a shower and then asks what I want to eat.

I let out a laugh as I place my phone on her nightstand. No longer thinking of the heavy as happier thoughts embrace me.

Nothing could change that quickly.

Right?

_Author's notes_: **And thus we end chapter five ~**

**I have so much planned for you guys that I'm not quite sure you'll be ready – sinister music in the background – aha well I hope your feelings don't bruise as easily as mine because yes.**

**Anyways our little sad Potato has ill timing because walking in on two different couples! The nerve of her right? Haha, anyways some characters are genderbent and I have yet to introduce Erwin, Hanji, and the whole other lot so yes.**

**I actually want to point out Sasha has a connection to her creeper teacher – le gasp – so yes. This may be more then twenty chapters though, or may not depends if I can deliver things properly.**

**Review appreciation time!**

**Sonic2196: My work load is at little high, which is my own fault, so I am going to update these chapters for this story every other week. I'm sorry! I'll try and produce more chapters soon because I want to finish this story first. Thank you for the review! I hope this one was done just fine to you.**

**RyuravenFox: The lie is a particle truth I'm afraid, but it won't be stomp out the Mikasasha flame!**

**RED TIGER SKUNK: Things with Ymir and Sasha will be covered. Given their history I doubt anything can rip their friendship apart and I'm sure Ymir will be a voice of reason which is a shocker I know. Thank you for cheering Sasha on!**

**Anak7: Your English seems just fine to me! I'm a native speaker and I have major trouble with it when I type, but I am glad and grateful to know that you enjoy this story. :D**

**JonWithAnH: I believe she suspects if my hinting was correct this chapter, but I'm not gonna let our babies come together just yet because I'm totally excited for jealous Mikasa and how she'll react with Levi pursuing Sasha. - evil laughter and then awkward hint of choking - **

**Rosiema: There will be more Mikasasha interaction just not yet. I have at least two more chapters with light interaction before they start to interact more. But I'm glad you enjoy it. :D**

**Assassin718: But you're waiting with be reward because their sex will be steamy – STEAMY I TELL YOU, hahaha, I hope to give you just that but not yet so I settled for Sasha walking in on people and overhearing them in the act. Because I'm evil – sometimes.**

**Chaosrin: I just want to say that I love you. Everything will come into light and you've pointed things out to me that I haven't really thought about. I'll try to go over and cover things as we go along and I hope you think that I've done so properly. In the mean time I hope you enjoy yourself and that our babies will be together eventually because we're still to earlier in the chapters.**

**Veni: I love the bond Ymir and Sasha have and they are quite something when I type the dialogue out between the two of them so making them make up was the best thing like ever! Haha, thank you my silent reading friend please leave inpute whenever you can and I hope you enjoyed this chapter.**

**Rosiema: Oh they will – in the meantime Levi and Sasha sparring was a thing. O:**

**Xyzsa: Thank you! I hope you continue to think so ~ :'D**

**CanaanAlphardForever: Mate you have finally dived into this complicated mess I've made! And reviewed each chapter that I have out T~T I love you, maaaaann! Anyways this is the first time I've tried my hand in First Person and I was originally going to do this in Mikasa's view point but said fuck it because no one has really given Sasha all these layers before and I wanted to paint her in a new light so yes. I threw Mikanni in there because people often push Mikasa with Annie and well it happened – do I like this? Nope, but I'm a minority in a small ship so I can't complain entirely. **

**As for past and present tense I usually do that because Sasha is narrating, in a sense, so lines do often blur. I'll try to keep a better grip on it and hopefully by chapter ten I can go over these other chapters and edit them to go over my mistakes – yes I know people make them but I still want it to be easier and clear for the readers so thank you. **

**As for Ymir liking fem!Armin well I saw the opportunity and I took it. Because our Freckled idiot does have a weakness for short blondes. **

**The angsty feels will be here until they will be like WHAT THE FUCK feels because jealous Mikasa and Sasha making a lot of ill planned choices and just auuuuugh you'll probably pull your hair out before going FINALLY when they do end up together. So yeah c:**

**I'm glad you have enjoyed yourself and maybe you will post more for Mikasasha, because there are few in the world and yeah but for now thank you CAF – hahaha :'D – your reviews meant a lot to me! :}**

**Anyways thank you for the views, reviews, follows and favorites they are my lifeblood and keep me and this story alive!**

**You all know by now that I do not own SnK but this universe stems off my mind so yeah I own that :}**

**Love always Cap'n Lynn.**

**P.s I know people make mistakes and I know I make them quite often, but I still like to apologies I'll fix them eventually I promise!**


	7. Confusion

"Don't be afraid to be confused. Try to remain permanently confused. Anything is possible. Stay open, forever, so open it hurts, and then open up some more, until the day you die, world without end, amen."

- George Saunders

Chapter Six: Confusion

I'm awake at god knows how early on a Saturday morning.

Why?

Because strong arms are wrapped around my waist and something _rather hard_ is poking me in the back.

I suck in a deep breath when I feel the owner of said strong arms accidentally dry humps into my back – again - and I flip over, untangling those arms from my body, no longer in the mood to be subjected to Ymir's sleeping cuddles.

"Hey Freck Face," I say hoarsely due to not using my voice, "I thought you didn't like me like that!"

Ymir snaps her eyes open instantly and in one swift motion falls off her bed and onto the floor. I slide to her side of the bed flicking her lamp on that was sitting on the nightstand as a slur of lazy curse words leave her lips and a groan as she looks up at me in a daze – though that does not stop her glare.

"What the fuck was that for," she growls until I point to her crotch causing her to look down and then back up at me covering herself, "for fucks sake Sasha it's not like you haven't seen it before and why did you disturb me from my dream it was getting pretty heavy!"

"Because I will not be your humping toy," I say offhandedly before looking over at her alarm clock only to wince, "and it's only three in the morning – oops."

"I was not using you as a humping to – "

"Did too," I chuckle before shaking my head, "I'm sorry I woke you up so early but you were practically shoving yourself into my back so I've learned my lesson I'll knock next time."

"Whatever," she blushes awkwardly as she stands, "I'll take a quick shower and then I'll put a pillow between us that way no more of well that."

"Okay," I say before I roll my eyes, "don't worry about it but before you go what was wrong with Christa?"

"Whaddya mean," she asks squinting at me.

"I mean she was pretty aggressive with you," I say lightly as I stretch a little feeling awake, " and do you know anyone by the name Petra?"

Ymir is shakes her head before sighing and rubs the back of her neck.

"Yeah well uhm she's been wanting it more than usual lately," there is hesitance in Ymir's voice and I see the way her eyes downcast before looking back up at me, "and Petra is her cousin – why?"

"I ah," I feel the heat in my cheeks as I blush recalling what I heard yesterday before shaking my head, "I guess I didn't connect the dots all to well I mean Levi said something about Petra visiting her cousin yesterday and I overheard Petra mentioning visiting Christa but uh I didn't know."

"Why are you blushing – don't tell me you like Petra as well because I'm sure Nanabu will kill you," Ymir smirked at me as she quriked her brow.

"W-what," I stammer before laughing, "gods no I don't like Petra that way at all she is sweet, uh looking yes but she reminds me to much of Christa and don't get me wrong," I start to wave my hands as Ymir glares at me, "they're both beautiful just not my type."

"I know," she smirks before looking down, "I really need a shower 'Tato so I'll be back."

"Kay," I yawn as she turns on her heels to walk to her bathroom – before she opens her door I stop her, "'Mir have you and Christa actually done it?"

"What," she turns around so quick I'm afraid she may have whiplashed her brain, but she just shakes her head and looks dead at me, "what makes you say that – I mean didn't you walk in on us yesterday?"

"You hesitated when mentioning it earlier," I pointed out with another yawn, "and you were clothed yesterday so you can tell me the truth without feeling like I'll laugh at you – I'm not Jean."

She bites her bottom lip for a moment before shaking her head looking at me warily, "you really are a boner killer – I'll uh or we'll talk after I wash up 'kay?"

"I'll be here," I hum out as I reach for my phone – I hear the door click shut, indicating that she went into the bathroom, as I slide my finger against the screen, luckily I changed the screen setting so the light isn't so unbearable.

**5 new messages**.

"_Well this is new,_"I hum out as I tap on the messages and blink a few good times to make sure I'm reading the names right.

"Two from Cone head, one from Christa, one from Levi...and one from Mikasa?"

I open Connie's first and cringe at the image before me – there naked as the day he was born stood Connie flexing his muscles with a bright unyielding smile – I flick my eyes down to hastily read the message

**Was this what you were hinting at beautiful?**

**received at 9:46 p.m**

**oh fuck Sasha I'm sorry pls don't hate me I meant that for someone else!**

**received at 9:48 p.m**

** - Connie**

I back out of that message quick and then delete it before opening up a blank message typing furiously.

**Honestly Connie what the fuck man that burnt my eyes! Also you need to hit the gym more because you look like you've been slacking and I figured it wasn't for me because I'm definitely not beautiful...so yeah but thanks I don't need to question my sexuality now! Because I'm for sure hella gay.**

I smile as I hit send and then shake my head as I click on the message Christa sent me.

**Hey Sasha! Ymir told me you were spending the night so feel free to keep her in check! Also please tell her to call me in the morning because I want to discuss somethings with her about our date plans for next week – please and thank you!**

**- Christa**

I chuckle lightly when I tap the screen to reply.

**Ymir is always on her best behavior though she has a habit of humping animate objects or anything within reach, haha, but other than that nothing bad I'll have her call you in the morning I promise or now if you're awake – if not please don't kill me I didn't mean to wake you oh gods it's early!**

I hit send smiling at how dramatic I can be and hope that Christa knows that Ymir and I haven't done anything because no – not going to happen.

I then click on Levi's message – smile intact at the previous one that I sent Christa – and stare at it a good long moment.

**That's fine I'm free on Monday so I cannot wait to see you again, and will we be at Titan Fall or would you like to try something else? At any rate I'm sure you're sleeping so I hope you have been granted the sweetest of dreams.**

**- Levi**

I smile as I exit out of her text I don't feel like messaging her this late so I look at Mikasa's name. There is a little icon near it showing that it's a picture message so hesitantly I open it.

I wish I hadn't.

Swallowing thickly I gaze at the image of Mikasa laying on her side on – what I'm guessing – is Annie's bed. Her lower half is covered by the thin material of what looks like a sheet and the rest is bare. I know I shouldn't be – but my eyes map out her sculpted abs drifting further up I see her breast barely covered by her scarf – it doesn't stop my mouth from going dry and my heart from hammering a mile a minute – but I end up swallowing, painfully mind you, yet again trying to regulate my breathing as I notice her face.

She's sleeping and clutched within her scarf is the fox I had traded her.

I don't try to process what that means though as I scroll down to read the message attached to it.

**I'm the one who gets to see this whenever I see fit. Such a shame that she's your sister, isn't it?**

**Mikasa**

I feel sick to my stomach and exit out of the message as quickly as possibly. Just by looking at the picture I knew right away who sent it to me. Tears threaten to seep out of the corner of my eyes as I clench my chest.

"_Fuck_," my mind is reeling with that image and my heart hasn't stopped a moment since, "_fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck_."

This isn't fair this isn't want I wanted – was she punishing me – how does she know to begin with? Am I that obvious? I – but why – I just don't understand.

I don't have time to think about it – to die in my misery – when Ymir's bathroom door swings open and she sighs contentedly causing me to look up at her.

"What's wrong now," she grunts as she drops the towel she used for her hair onto the floor, "somebody die?"

"I uh," I stammer placing my phone down, "I saw a nude of Connie."

Ymir stares at me a moment before her face cracks into a grin.

"You're kidding right?"

" 'fraid not," I let out a shake-y laugh as I look at her, "he even messaged me saying he meant that for someone else."

"No shit," she muses as she pushes me aside to sit on her bed only to look at me, "so how big our we talking here?"

"What," I ask as I scrunch up my facing as I look at her, "I just told you baldy sent me a nude and automatically you ask me how big is he?"

"Oi," she snorts, "it's not like I'm interested I just want to see who is bigger," she wiggles her brow, "I've got Jean beat and I'm also bigger than Reiner."

"I so do not want to know how you know that," I groan out as I put my phone on the nightstand beside me trying to ignore my feelings as I pull my knees to my chest looking down at the unmade bed we sat on, "and for the record you are you dork," I smile – forcefully for a moment – before I look at her, "this doesn't excuse our little chat about you and Christa – who by the way texted me to tell me to keep you in check and to remind you to call her later today."

"Wait so I'm bigger than that bald midget," she smiles and I swear I can feel the pride radiate off of her.

"After everything I just said you're focused on that," I end up hitting her in the arm, "you're an idiot."

"Whatever," she grumbles out tiredly before bringing her own knees to her chest, "and we haven't really done much beside me giving her oral and using my fingers but when it comes to me using – " she pauses biting her bottom lip before shaking her head visibly looking upset, "I mean I can please her with my tongue and fingers just fine, but lately she has been wanting all of me – and I'm fucking scared Sasha," she is looking at me now with unshed tears – sun kissed cheeks rosy due to the heat in them, "I mean I have two dads for fucks sake but what good is that when they know next to nothing on pleasing a woman or how they could guide me through it – how am I suppose to please my girlfriend with this meaty flesh between my thighs – I just don't fucking understand!"

For a good long moment I look at her – Ymir is no longer the sarcastic, devilishly charming young woman that I've come to know – in this moment she reminds me that she's a kid – that _we_'_re _only kids. I begin to feel guilty I only brought up the subject to keep myself occupied from my own feelings that I forgot that Ymir feels too – that she is a scared teenager just like me.

I do the only thing I could think of – I pull her close to me and hug her. There is resistance on her part – she is thrashing, flailing her arms about hitting me where ever she can and she even bit me in the shoulder – I ignore it though even if the bite hurts I just pull her closer.

"You're an idiot," I huff out – more so to myself then to her – which calms her enough to detach her teeth from my shoulder and to grip on my shirt burrowing her face into my neck.

I feel the tall tale signs of tears on the front of my shirt as she sobs – my guess is she has been feeling this way for awhile now – so I just hum softly stroking her back as we sit there in her lamp lit room.

I'm not sure how long we last like this, but Ymir finally settles.

"I'm sorry 'Tato," she mumbles hoarsely as she lets go of my shirt, "I didn't mean to ruin your shirt."

"It's fine," I smile before wincing as I move my arms away from her, "you really do like to bite though."

"You grabbed me when I was upset," she pointed out with a glare before deflating instantly, "and you were trying to help I'm so sor – "

"No," I chuckle out shaking my head at her, "it's fine I mean I'm the one who brought it up and obviously it has been eating at you for a while right – so no biggie and besides," I pause to let out a breath as I took her hand in mine looking dead into her eyes, "if you're serious about Christa then tell her instead of freaking yourself out about it – I mean she is your girlfriend and she adores you so I know she will understand."

"You think so," she muses – rather dumbly I may add – as she smiles slightly before turning her head to look at her nightstand, "shit Sas it's almost six in the morning and we hardly slept a wink!"

"And we would have slept just fine if you hadn't used me as your humping toy," I jab as I poke her in the side – causing her to jump – as I yawn out tiredly, "how about we try to sleep some more now I could use it."

"Sure," Ymir yawns out just as tiredly, "I won't try to use you as my humping toy this time boner killer."

I roll my eyes as she turns off her light and we both lay down on her bed – Ymir pulls the covers back on us and I begin to feel my eye lids droop. For extra measure Ymir places a pillow between us as she throws her arms lazily across my waist pulling me close to her – which causes me to crane my neck slightly to look at her.

"What," she huffs out, "it's just in case I might do it again don't flatter yourself Spud – and besides I like cuddling."

I shake my head with a smile as I lay my head back down. Before I let sleep overcome me I move my hand to intertwine my fingers with Ymir's and with a faint squeeze I finally drift away – with thoughts of Mikasa plaguing me in my dreams.

X

The next time I awake is not to the awkward feeling of Ymir pressing herself into my back – luckily the pillow is still between us despite her tight hold on me – no this time I am being woke up by the loud unyielding hum of my phone vibrating on the nightstand.

Groggily I untie my fingers from Ymir's and go to move grabbing the angry sounding device – sliding my finger across it with utmost annoyance and with a groan I push the device near my ear.

"SASHA," the loud voice of Eren shouts from the other end.

"What," I hiss out as I move to sit upright.

"Don't give me any of that shit and get ready because I'll be there in twenty minutes."

What?

"Why," I groan out as I shift my gaze to Ymir – surprised and grateful to see that she is still sleeping – as I shift my gaze from here to see that it's now eleven in the morning, "I thought I wouldn't be going home until one or two."

"Well, thank mom and dad because they will be going to Dauper and they have asked me to go with them hence why I'm picking you up in now eighteen minutes."

"But why would they be going to Dauper," I ask as a shiver runs down my spine, "and how long will you guys be gone and why can't just stay here?"

"Because Potato Brain dad wants you here for your session tomorrow morning – that you decided to have after breakfast mind you and we'll be gone until Sunday morning – if you're worried about being alone don't worry about it Mikasa will be there."

I feel my throat tightens and my face reddens as I recall the picture Annie sent me – taunting me – and all at once I go to speak but before I can utter a single word of protest Eren has already hit end call leaving me sitting there on Ymir's bed – mouth slightly hung open and heart hammering painfully – I press my thighs together in shame at the acute feeling of wetness as I bite my trembling lip.

Somehow I manage to climb out of Ymir's bed without any trouble, and in a haste I discard my pajamas throwing them in my bag all the while pulling on a wore out band tee and short shorts. I do a double check before I pull a piece of paper out of my bag and walk over to Ymir's nightstand as I find a pen near her lamp.

Frecks,

Don't forget to call Chris after you wake up and talk to her about what you said to me before we passed out again. She adores you just as much as you adore her so don't freak out okay?

I love you Frecks and I know you can do this.

I then scribble a monster on the note before with a small hum I shift her one last look.

"Later Freckles," I whisper as I make my trek to her door and then slide out of her room without making a sound.

I don't run into anyone as I make my way out of the house – disappointed as I open the front door but force a smile as I see Eren with Mikasa.

"_Shit_," I wasn't expecting to see her so I bite the inside of my cheeks and keep my focus solely on Eren as he glares at me.

"Well are you going to stand there and cause us to be late or what?"

"Can it," I grunt out as I walk to the car – I don't have the nerve or the heart to look at Mikasa much less talk to her so I simply slip into the back without saying anything else.

Seconds later they both climb in and exchange looks, but I preoccupy myself by looking at my phone. I remember Levi had texted me so I click open the message and nearly jump out of my seat when I hear Mikasa's voice address itself to me.

"Good morning Sasha," she sounds chipper – or close to it in that soft voice of hers.

"_I wonder why" _I grit my teeth before exhaling a breath as I look up from phone to peer into her gray irises as she turned in her seat to look at me.

"Morning," I drawl out hoarsely as my throat dries yet again – I feel a tingling sensation in my gut as I flick my gaze back to my phone screen.

"Are you alright," she asks softly as Eren – for once – drives like a mad man to get home.

"Yes," I grunt out as I begin to type trying my hardest to ignore the image of her naked in my mind. I go to focus on Levi – focus on the message I'm typing to her.

**Hey! Good morning I slept fine and had decent dreams. I hope you did as well too! Anyways Titans Fall is fine. :D Also you never did tell me about your date plans...can't wait to hear what you have in store.**

"Sasha did you even get any sleep," Eren asked loudly as he runs a stop sign, "and you look like shit by the way."

"How sweet of you Eren who knew that you cared," I fire back not in the mood for his pissy attitude.

"Hey," he shouts out as we turn on the road leading to home, "I do care – you didn't look like that yesterday after we left."

"Ymir had a nightmare," the flatness in my tone is new – nothing I've used before – and it startles both occupants in the car, "so excuse me for looking like shit just hurry up and get us home I'll be in my room anyways."

"Whatever," Eren grumbles and leaves it at that.

But it doesn't stop the way Mikasa looks at me with sadness – along with confusion – clouding over her eyes.

Or the guilt to tighten it's hold on me.

X

Once we make it home – and after Mikasa climbs out – I hurry out of Eren's car and nearly fly up the stairs ignoring everything shutting my door behind me as I make it into my room dropping my bag on the floor and discard my clothes.

I need a shower – and maybe even a new life.

I don't bother grabbing clothes from my dresser – simply walking in my bathroom leaving the door open since the one to my room is shut.

I open the glass door – goosebumps rising on my skin at how cold my bathroom feels and sigh happily when the steam rises up from the hot water falling from the shower head – I step in welcoming the water as it caresses my skin – I can't stop the hum bubbling in my throat as I scrub away last night.

I gasp at the jolt goes through me however as I go to rub soap in my nether region.

Gulping slightly I drop my wash cloth – sliding my index finger softly through the flaps of my lips and - "_Oh fuck_," the sensation is almost overwhelming – just a simple stroke against my clit and I feel hot – mildly confused – and aching.

Although the aching has been there – I've been aware of it the moment I saw Mikasa naked – naked and sleeping.

I gasp again as I wrench my hand away from myself.

"_What the fuck am I thinking_?" I groan as I turn the cold water on – nearly yelping at the harshness of it but thankful that it's distracting enough to dull the aching into non existence.

I wash quickly – shivering all the way – and finally a few minutes later I am done and with a sigh I step out of the shower – dripping wet and freezing.

Luckily I have a clean towel folded on my shelf near the toilet so I grab it – drying my hair first before drying the rest of myself – and then wrap it around me.

I don't bother with my hair as I grab a hair tie and as I step out of my bathroom I stop – looking up mortified – to see Mikasa standing there wide eyed and red face as my towel drops from my body.

"_Are the gods punishing me_," I want to cry as she quickly turns around on her heels causing me to scramble and grab my towel to cover my front.

"I was going to tell you that mother, father and Eren left – I uh – ," she pauses my guess is she is composing herself as she cleared her throat, " I didn't mean to barge in I assumed you went to sleep I'll – I'll be going now."

I nod my head – even though she hasn't looked back after she saw me nude – as she steps out of my room.

I stand there for a good long minute until I drop the towel, willing this time, and throw on a sports bra, panties – and then a black novelty tee shirt with I heart Zombies on it and short shorts. I then slip on my socks and boots with one thought in mind.

"_I need to shoot something_," or rather I need to unleash an array of arrows on a helpless dummy.

I slide out of my window fearing that I may run into Mikasa by accident and jump off the roof – landing just fine – as I do a quick jog to the shed. Thankfully it hasn't been disturbed and that I left my bow in there because I don't feel like going back to the house just yet.

After I have everything I need I make the short walk to the training/shooting range.

I steady myself as I pull out an arrow and ready it as I pull back the string.

"_One, two, thre – now_!"

I let go sending the arrow soaring – moments later is sticks the bullseye and I smile dumbly as I ready myself another.

For the remainder of that afternoon I stand there firing shot for shot.

No thoughts cloud my mind as I do.

X

It's about seven o'clock when I decide to head inside – after retrieving all the arrows I used – and I'm exhausted despite the fact that the sun is still up.

When I walk inside I notice how quiet the house is and remember that I home alone – even though Mikasa is here.

I make my way to the kitchen and I'm however surprised to see Mikasa standing by the stove trying to save whatever she had boiling in the pot.

"Need any help," I ask – which causes her to crane her neck at me with her ever neutral face though I do see a faint smile and maybe even a faint blush, but it could be from me being outside all afternoon or whatever.

"I believe I have it but thank you – take a seat at the table I'm almost done."

I nod my head and do as she asks as she refocuses on the pot. It doesn't take long for her to bring it over and start filling the bowls that she has out.

"I hope you don't mind potato and beef stew," she asks as she fills my bowl and hands it to me.

Before I can say anything I'm hit with a powerful aroma that causes my mouth to water and I take it from her uttering a quick thank you as I grab my spoon and start to scarf down on it only to nearly choke.

"Slow down, "she warns me as she hands me a glass of cold iced tea, "there is fresh rolls too I figured you worked up an appetite."

I nod my head as I start to drink the tea – soothing my throat – as I reach for a freshly warm and soft roll squishing it and dipping it into the stew before popping it into my mouth – faintly moaning at the taste.

"You still eat like that," Mikasa chuckled softly, rocking her shoulders as she does, causing me to lift my eyes up from my bowl to see her calmly eating hers.

"Like what," I ask dumbly after I swallow what I've chewed.

"Like someone is going to take it from you," she sighs out before looking directly at me, "you know nobody is going to right?"

"That hasn't stopped you from taking my rolls before," I tease out recalling our childhood – as I deflect answering her question.

"That's because you would take my potatoes, "she muses with an eye roll before taking a sip of her drink, "how do you like the stew?"

"It's delicious," I answer earnestly as I look down and realize it's almost gone, "am I allowed to get more?"

"Yes," she chuckles while shaking her head, "I'm glad I made enough for five people seeming as you have more than one stomach."

"Hey I only have one stomach," I gasp out faking mock hurt as I scoop up stew from the pot and dump it into my bowl, "it's not my fault that I'm a growing young woman with a hearty appetite!"

Mikasa laughs – literally laughs rich and full – and it causes my heart to swell more than three sizes as I look at her. She covers her mouth with her hand as she looks at me amused.

"Hey don't make fun of me," I pout, possibly looking like a puppy, at her.

"I'm sorry," her laughter dies down – her cheeks are flushed – as she smiles softly at me, "why don't you finish up so we can clean the kitchen – and watch a movie – if you'd like?"

I nod vigorously as I begin to scarf down on my second bowl of stew – it was not as hot as the last one – so I finish with ease.

After I'm done I go to get up but sit back down.

"Augh," I groan, "I ate to fast."

"I told you," Mikasa cooed out softly as she stands – grabbing her bowl with one hand – and poking my cheek with the other as she walks by, "I'll wash everything up why don't you go lounge in the living room and pick a movie."

"Okay," I sigh as I push myself up again, "what do you want to watch?"

"Anything is fine with me," she murmurs as she begins to clean the kitchen.

I don't say anything as exit and sluggishly walk into the living room and go to scan our movie shelf. Since she said anything I start to narrow things down. I'm not in the mood for Romance or even Comedy so I skip over that. Classical movies put me to sleep and so do Musicals; Action seems fine but then again as I glance down at my tee shirt I smile.

"Horror it is," I muse as I go to grab a zombie flick and pop it in the Blu Ray player.

X

It took Mikasa about twenty minutes to clean the kitchen – which was fine with me as I curl up on one side of the couch – when she comes in the menu for the movie is on.

"Dawn of the Dead," she asks as she sits on the other side of the couch – away from me.

"Yeah," I smile at her as I retrieve the remote from the table, "I'm in a mood for it."

"Horror movies scare you" she points out as I hit play.

"I'll be fine," I wave her off as I transfix my gaze on the screen.

"Are you sure you wan – "

"Shh," I shush her as the beginning of the movie starts, "I'll be okay the movie is starting," I whisper keeping my focus on the screen.

As soon as we get to the part with the little girl I flinch inwardly – keeping my composer as I watch her bite the dudes neck.

"_What the hell was I thinking_," I wince as the nurse woman tries to break out of her bathroom window – and I jump when I feel an arm wrap around my waist as Mikasa pulls me closer to her.

"Really Sasha," she lightly laughs as her arm moves with me, "we're only in the first part of the movie I thought you said you would be fine."

"Hush your face," I grumble as I keep my focus on the movie fearing that my heart would fall in her lap if I turn to look at her, "just keep holding me until it's over please."

"Okay," she says softly as she – I assume – focuses on the movie as well.

I shift closer to her as the movie progresses – jumping whenever someone gets killed or hiding my face into her shoulder when my favorite character almost gets ate by some zombie that got close to them.

I'm thankful to be held as we near the climax of the movie because holy hell that's a lot of zombie!

I jump right out of her hold though when I feel something vibrate.

"It's my phone," she chuckles as she digs the device out of her pocket and sighs, "I'll be right back – pause the movie if you like to we can finish it in a few moments."

"Kay, " I stammer as my lip quivers – she doesn't notice though because she ups and leaves the living room.

I curl into myself on the couch as I finish watching the movie – doubtful that she will return anytime soon.

By the time the end credits roll up I shut everything off and head up stairs. A part of me upset that she didn't come back and frightful because that movie freaked me out – and another part of me knew I mean I think I know who called her so it's better to hold my tongue.

I'm tired anyways so I think I'll just go to bed.

I kick off my boots the moment I step into my room – discarding my shirt and shorts as I pull out a clean sports bra and basketball shorts from my dresser.

Once dressed I go to the bathroom – I have to pee – flush, wash my hands and then brush my teeth since I'm already in there.

Afterwards I exit feeling refresh and climb into bed.

Sleep claims me the moment I put my head down.

X

I'm not sure about the time – or how long I've been sleeping, but I jolt awake after a really intense dream.

Bits and pieces of distorted images that I've always seen since the first time it happened. I swallow thickly as I go to move, but notice that an arm is wrapped around my waist an a hand touches my shoulder.

"I DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY," I shriek as I start to thrash in my bed only to stop when the owner of the arm and hand speaks.

"Sasha it's only me," Mikasa grunts out tonelessly as I still and then softens as she speaks to me again, "you were having a bad dream so I climbed in bed with you – that was an hour ago you wouldn't wake up the first time I called you so I've been laying here with you I didn't mean to scare you."

"Oh," I rasp out as I deflate, "you were holding me?"

"Yes I have been," she answers, "you also went to bed without saying goodnight."

"You were on the phone," I point out feeling a mixture of emotions as I shrug off her hand, "and I finished the movie – you were still on the phone so I came up here and went to sleep."

"I'm sorry Annie called me," she sighed.

"_I knew it," _I feel my heart sink into my stomach

"I figured," I'm feeling tired – and I'm not sure how I sound to her – but I force a smile despite the fact that my room is only illuminated by the moon so I doubt she sees me, "can you hand me the black bear please?"

She doesn't answer me as the bed shifts a few times and then the stuffed animal is placed on my lap softly.

"Thank you," I sigh as I pick up the animal – bring it to my chest and turn away from her facing my door as I lay on my side.

That was my signal for her to leave.

The bed shifts – and I close my eyes waiting for my door to open and close as she exits, but that never happens. Instead she lays down beside me pulling the covers over us better – and tentatively she wraps her arm around my waist pulling me closer to her.

"What are you doing," I grumble out as I open eyes slightly – to tired to fight her and to tired to over think anything.

"Just in case you have another nightmare," she answers out as her voice drops a few notes – and her breathing starts to even out, "let's get some sleep we're still hours away from sunrise."

I don't say anything as she pulls me even closer – and by the way her chest rises and falls I start to drift away almost as if it were lulling me to sleep.

I push aside everything in my mind – everything that had to do with yesterday and bits and pieces of today – as my eye lids close once more.

But before sleep stakes it's claim on me Mikasa speaks – faintly.

"Goodnight – _I love you_, _Sasha_."

I pretend to already be asleep as I nestle even closer to her smiling as I feel ever curve of her body – and moments later with the scent of vanilla and rainfall fill my senses I finally welcome a dreamless slumber.

_Author's notes_: **And chapter six sets the overload of emotions! **

**I actually had some of this finished when I posted chapter five and well I finished it so, yay? Haha please do not kill me! **

**Ymir is intersex – more as a tribute to CanaanAlphardForever because I've read majority of her fictions and yeah, aha, so Ymir has a "fun stick" and I hope I nailed it when it came to teenagers and sex – and stuff, aha.**

**Now you all will probably be wondering why the original Jaegers all went to Dauper and how it connects to Sasha – which will come to light chapter seven along with parts of her past – like the weird dreams she keeps having.**

**Anyone like the fluff or was that fluff when it came to Mikasa and Sasha? I'll try better – I've read to many Angst fics and I'm more accustom to them, but this is also a slow burn build up so I mean we will get to see them happy – just not yet. **

**I still have more to give you guys and I hope you will be here to see this through with me! Don't hate me to much also please :/**

**Anyways reviewer appreciation time:**

**Sonic2196: Thank you! I hope you like three days later than the last one, xD I'm pacing myself with this story though and I'll more than likely start chapter seven tomorrow and take a few days to type but I thought I would surprise everyone with another update – I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I'm sorry if it seemed to rushed or confusing.**

**CanaanAlphardForever: Mate I have indulged everyone with another chapter! Starting to ship Fem!Levi and Sasha are we? Well from what I've learned you are not the only one, ;D , haha and well I'm excited to read your Mikasasha fic because I LOVE YOUR WRITING – EVERYONE SHOULD GO READ HER FICTIONS THEY ARE precious :3 – yes I fangirl over your work a lot. **

**Our potato still has plenty of people to walk in one and how about those nudes, huh? Hahaha – ah. Thank you for the review mate I always look forward to them. :D**

**SweetStarsSama: I'm good at delivering tasty angst and thank you for the review! Hope you like this chapter! :D**

**JonWithAnH: A lot of people are! But I messaged you and explained somethings – haha ah yeah. There will be more sparring sessions and hopefully more decent chapters – and I hope you enjoyed this one!**

**Thank you everyone for the views – this fic broke 2,000 today! - reviews, follows and favorites I just love you guys a lot okay?**

**With a lot of love for you guys,**

**Cap'n Lynn sailing off to write more chapters eventually.**

**P.s I know people make mistakes – I make plenty but eventually I'll go over them in the mean time * in Pyrra's voice from RWBY : I'm sorry!**


	8. Circle

"_Take this time to realize that you always shut your eyes in the midst of trial, and everything is always right – and I think that it's time – this battle must be won – but you pushed it aside – pushed it aside pretend that it's gone_."

Circle by Paramore.

Chapter Seven: Circle

A faint clicking noise followed by a bright flash causes my eye lids to flutter open – hesitantly – only to slam shut again.

I take a breath and brace myself again – when I hear someone chuckle – as I open my eyes again to crane my neck.

My focus comes to me slowly – my room isn't lit well enough – but the silhouette is unmistakable.

"Eren," I whisper out as I feel arms tighten softly around my waist – nearly jumping before I recall Mikasa climbing into bed with me the night before – as I look up red faced at him, "what are you doing?"

"We just got back," he loudly whispers – possibly afraid to awaken Mikasa – as he edges closer to my bed, "and I have blackmail now," I can partly see his grin and nearly flinch when he flicks his phone screen giving me a view, "mom used to say you two shared a bed at times and now I have proof."

It takes me a moment, but as the light becomes less irritating as I see an image of us sleeping – Mikasa and I – it looks harmless enough except –

"Oh no," I whine softly in shock.

"Oh yes," I can hear the smirk in his voice as he turns to look at the image giving me a better view of his face, "no one besides you, Mikasa and of course Ymir knows how you got that bite mark – so if you don't want anyone to see it you're gonna have to do my chores."

I swallow thickly about to move but I sigh instead.

"Fine."

"Huh – just like that?"

"Yes," I breathe out feeling a ping of annoyance as I whisper hiss at him, "we wouldn't want people to assume that me and Mikasa were sleeping around now would we?"

"God you're moody in the morning," Eren huffs as he puts his phone in his pocket, "don't worry I was teasing you anyways but you should hurry and get up," his voice is still in a whisper and I can almost suspect that he is in fact scared of waking Mikasa up, "Mom is making French Toast and will need my help so be a lovely dear and wake Mikasa up."

"I knew it," I giggle out before covering my mouth with my free hand stiffing it before glaring at him with a smirk, "you're afraid to wake her up."

"Who wouldn't be it would be like releasing the Kraken only messier," he points out as he backs away nearing my – open – door, "that's why I'm leaving the task to you."

Before I can utter a word of protest Eren grabs the door handle shutting the door – quietly – behind him as he goes to help Mama.

"Coward," I grumble as I steady myself a moment.

Lightly – and still in her arms – I turn my body to have a better view of her face thanks to the sunlight seeping through my window.

"_She looks so...peaceful_," I hadn't seen her look like this in a really long time – so it warms my being into knowing that – and I almost feel guilty for having to ruin it.

"Mikasa," I whisper softly as I maneuver my arm in-between our bodies and gently trace out the features of her face with my index finger, "it's time to wake up."

Her brows draw together as her lip quivers slightly – with what I hope is a feathery sort of touch I sooth it – unable to contain the coo emanating within my chest.

"Mikasa," I whisper again, "it's time to wa – "

I am silenced as she moves her body – craning her neck just so – as she captured my mouth with her own. I'm pretty sure my eyes are the size of saucers and my heart is hammering away so hard that I might faint – but I try to keep my grip on things because I notice the way her eye lids stay shut and how her hold loosens on me.

"Five more minutes," she sighs softly once she pulls away and places her head back down on my spare pillow.

And then she is out like a light or she wasn't awake at all.

I swallow thickly and without thinking lick my lips.

Somehow I manage to detach myself further from her as I slip out of my bed, grabbing a random shirt laying on my floor, putting it on and make the short distance to my door.

The heat within my cheeks expands as I peer over my shoulder – once I grab ahold of the door nob – just to sneak one last peek at her sleeping form unable to contain the twitch in the corner of my mouth as a smile schools my features.

"_I love you, too,_" I breath out recalling what she said to me last night as I open the door, slide out and close it with a soft click behind me.

I descend down the stairs within moments as I make my way to the kitchen remembering that Eren had mentioned French Toast.

I felt my mouth water the moment I enter the room and smile when I see Mama flipping the cinnamon squared goodness and nearly laugh when I see Eren covered in the batter.

"Don't you dare laugh," Eren scowls as he cracks more eggs.

"I don't know what you're talking about," the snickering is barely audible but that doesn't suppress the smile on my face.

"How's your shoulder," he shots out hotly as he drops the yoke into the bowl and gets splattered.

"What's wrong with your sister's shoulder," Mama finally pitches in as she places the newly made toast on a plate already holding a decent stack.

"Uh," heat rushes to my face a moment before I regain my composer shooting Eren a glare before looking at Mama – a sigh escaping my lips as I do, " Ymir had a nightmare and accidentally bit me."

I pull my shirt to the side as proof and I bite my lip to contain my smile as Eren simply gawks at me.

"_Thought I wouldn't tell the truth did he_," or well some form of the truth as I look back at Mama who walks over to me – motherly instincts kicking in – as she lightly touches the mark.

"Hmm," she hums as I wince – it did not go unnoticed by her – as she retracts her hand, "I'm sorry my little love it doesn't look so bad – though Ymir must have had one nasty night terror to do that to you."

"Yeah," I reply lamely as I fix my shirt, "where's Papa?"

"In his study," Mama murmurs as she walks back to the stove, "he already ate if that is what you're wondering."

"Oh," I mumble before perking up, "breakfast almost done?"

"Yes," Mama chuckles as she looks over at Eren, "hurry with the batter now I have four more squares left."

"I'm finished with it," he huffs out as he stand – grabbing a hold of the bowl – and walks over to Mama with no further words.

"I can see that dear," Mama muses as she taps his nose, "I swear you wear more of it then actually help make it."

"Well I'm no cook," he grumbles with a scowl settling in his features, "besides it's usually Mikasa or Sasha helping you with preparing the food."

"Once upon a time your father helped cook as well," Mama quips smiling as Eren looks at her with wide eyes, "go wash up dear and speaking of Mikasa where is she?"

"Still sleeping," I answer willing the blush threatening to over take my face away, "she didn't wake up when I called her."

"You mean she is still dead to the world on your bed," Eren grins as he walks to the door leading into the living room.

"Your bed," Mama asks me with a hint concern flashing in her eyes, "did you have a nightmare last night?"

"I did," I murmur before clearing my throat, "she stayed with me to make sure I didn't have another one."

"I'm glad to know that," Mama smiles softly before looking at Eren who was still standing by the doorway, "since you're still standing there why don't you go wake up your sister – nicely – after you wash up."

"But why can't Sasha do it," Eren whines as he looks at Mama, "I mean she is sleeping on her," he points at me, "bed after all."

"And I asked," Mama points at Eren with a smile, "you so please do it."

"Fine," he huffs grumbling other words under his breath as he walks out of the kitchen finally.

"So are you ready to eat your break – " Mama goes to ask me a question only to pause when we hear someone yelling.

"WAKE UP YOU USELESS LAZY BUM," followed by the sounds of footsteps running down the stairs and out of the front door.

"I swear that boy has no common sense," Mama huffs out looking annoyed for a moment as she stacks French Toast on a plate placing it in front of me, "I was going to ask if you are ready for breakfast," she smiles this time as she prepares another plate, "also your father will be waiting for you after you are finished."

"Okay," I hum out as I pick up the fork beside me – and then to proceed to look around.

"What are you looking for little bear," Mama asks as she went back to the stove to add more French Toast to the frying pan.

"Syrup," I nearly whine earning a chuckle from Mama who is now shaking her head.

"I knew I forgot something – go look in the pantry I'm sure there is a bottle in there."

"Alright," I huff out as I heave away from the table only to swagger back and bump against something – or someone I realize a second later as we end up sprawled on the floor with the person protectively wraps their arms around my waist.

"Trying to kill me already," Mikasa muses in her sleep slick voice causing my heart to leap into my throat as I turn to look at her.

"No," I wince out as I adjust myself straddling her waist failing to notice how her hands resting softly on my hips, "you just surprised me and walked in at the wrong time," I grumble out as I fold my arms over my chest.

"So that's it then," Mikasa chuckles out – with a rasp – causing me to squirm and blush at the same time.

"Are you two going to lay there or are you going to move outta the way," Eren mocks as he stands there in front of us – causing me to jump off of Mikasa who is blushing faintly.

"Sorry I caused an accident," I smiled weakly as I moved away from them hurrying to the pantry just missing the smile on Mama's face as I went.

Once I grabbed the syrup I walked back to the table, opened it and proceeded to poor my sorrow down on my toast.

"Geez got enough sticky stuff there," Eren huffs as I slide the bottle to him.

"I do," I smile as I begin to scarf down the food with no further thought – all the while ignoring the heat within my body every time Mikasa brushes past me for something.

X

After I finish I wash my plate, give Mama a sticky kiss on her cheek causing her to laugh and then make my way to Papa's study.

Which I have currently been in eyeing the box with my name on it.

"_I wonder what's inside_," I muse as I shift my gaze to look at Papa who is still writing away in the leather journal that is usually associated with me.

"Papa," I call out feeling both nervous and willing, "are you ready?"

"Just a moment," he smiles as he continues to scribble the last sentence – before placing his pen down – looking up at me, "now how would you like to begin?"

"What do you mean," I ask as I raise my brow at him, "are you going to ask me a buttload of questions and I answer them or are you saying I can take charge of this session?"

"Buttload Sasha," Papa laughs before shaking his head, "and I figured you would like to share how you have been feeling – how things are with Ymir and your sister – or even tell me who this Levi is and how you feel about her."

"I'm guessing Mama mentioned Levi," I point out as I get comfortable in the chair.

"She may have," Papa smiles before looking more professional, "now would you like to share on this – or skip over to something else."

"I'll share," I huff out feeling annoyed, "I met her when I ran into Connie – we talked briefly – and then I saw her again the same day things got better with Ymir – again we talked briefly – and then two days ago we sparred and exchanged numbers – we have coffee plans tomorrow."

"I see," he muses, "and how do you feel about her."

"I – ," I hesitate a moment before straightening up, "sometimes I don't really know how I feel about her – there is this feeling of familiarity with her and sometimes I compare her to Mikasa – compare the easiness in being around Levi with how it is to be around Mikasa and there is confusion."

"Confusion," Papa presses sounding intrigued, "why do you feel confused."

"I – I dunno really," I begin, "I feel this flutter in my chest and then I begin to feel guilty like I'm betraying someone," I know who but choose not to say it, "and then I feel like in getting to know Levi that I start to compare her to Mikasa – like I said a moment ago – and then the attraction I feel like it could be misplaced somehow like I'm picking Levi over – " I pause or rather stop when I feel the words on my tongue – this was something I've been trying to avoid this entire time.

"So you feel like your misplacing your attraction or move over that you are pushing your attraction to Levi – who in more way than one makes up for the lack of contact you've had with Mikasa?"

It takes me a moment but I realize that he hadn't said '_your sister_' which causes me heart to halt. Does that mean –

"Sasha," Papa murmurs softly, "it's okay to have attractions that don't always make sense."

"But what if it makes perfect sense," I ask as I bring my knees to my chest as I look at the floor, "what if it doesn't to anyone else but it makes sense to you."

"Then all that matters is that it makes perfect sense to you," Papa answers causing me to look up the floor to see him smiling.

"You think so," I ask as I manage a small smile.

"I do," he nods, "it made perfect sense when I fell in love with your mother – speaking off the record of course."

"Of course," I repeat smiling at him before sobering up, "is there anything else you wish to know?"

"Hmm," he hums out as he rubs his chin a moment in thought, "how has your sleeping been lately?"

"It's been okay lately but," I hesitate a moment before sighing,"I've been dreaming again."

"You mean – your life before here when you were in the orphanage."

I nod feeling sick to my stomach as I look at him.

"You know your mother, brother and I all went to Dauper, correct?"

"Yes," I answer solemnly as my gaze shifts from him to the box then back to him, "how did that go if you don't mind me asking?"

"It went – well," he mumbles before shaking his head, "we went to Maria's Hope."

The name sent shivers down my spine as I look dead at him.

"Oh?"

"It's still under funds to keep the grounds open but they closed it two years ago – we were able to salvage your belongings from the time you were there does the name Braus ring a bell?"

"It was my name before you legally adopted me," I answer going over what he said before tilting my head feeling relief, "what do they plan to do with the orphanage?"

"They'll be tearing it down sometime this summer," he answers before turning to the box – pulling the lid off – and retrieving a file from it ," do you remember having any relatives?"

"No, all I remember from before was life in the orphanage."

"That's correct," Papa nodded as he opened my file up, "your mother and father – Mackenzie and Bo Braus – died in a fatal accident that spared the lives of their two children ten year old Philip Charles Braus and you," he pauses as he looks at me and then back at the file,"one month old Sasha Daniella Braus – you had a grandfather named Walter Reiss who was your Mother's father but he was to sick in his old age to care for a child and an infant which is how you and your brother ended up in the orphanage."

"I don't remember any Philip," I murmur as I feel the muscle in my jaw tense, "did you say his middle name was Charles?"

"Is Charles – he was adopted sometime after you ended up here."

"By who?"

"I wasn't able to find any information other than the fact a family took a liking to him and soon he was off far away or so I was told."

"Okay," I answer before forcing myself to relax – for some reason that name caused my skin to crawl and my heart to hammer in fear – I don't understand why or maybe I do.

"Would you like to see what's in the box?"

"You mean there is more than just files," I half joke as Papa looks at me, "uh – sure," I answer a moment later, "why don't you pull the stuff out?"

And so – with a nod – and no further questions Papa proceeded to pull out various items from the box: a worn out green scarf, a tattered baby blanket, handful of small dolls and pictures.

"Seems there are a few pictures in here with you in it that I was able to take with us."

I nod my head as he hands them to me – without a word – I look through them.

It feels almost surreal as I look at my younger self gazing at my life before at how happy I look and then I notice a constant - children who were always with me. There was a boy – older than me by two to three years – with short blond hair and bright blue eyes always with his arms wrapped around my shoulder protectively, along with a girl with long brown hair – wearing glasses – who would be holding me also with a bright energetic smile, and another boy shorter than the blond and brunette but taller than me with short black hair would also be with us too. He had this mopey look on his face but would appear to be smiling whenever he was near me.

"_You remember them_," a soft voice in the back of my head calls out, "_they loved you very much_."

"Erwin," I say with a small smile moments later when the name comes to me, "the blond's name is Erwin," I glance over to the brunette and smile broadly, "she's Hanji and – " I pause a moment when I look at the boy with short black hair, "he's – his name is Rivai."

For some reason that name seemed off and as I look at him my heart breaks – the sense of familiarity with him is so strong that it's heart breaking.

"_But why doesn't his name fit him_?"

"Yes," Papa sighs while opening up another file, "Erwin Smith, Hanji Zoe and Rivai Mercer were all three years your seniors but took a liking to you because – "

"I was often bulled," I finish, "if not by the other kids then by the staff – especially the cook when I'd ask for more food."

"Was he the one who hurt you?"

"Hurt me," I ask as I look at Papa, "hurt me how?"

"Sasha," Papa sighs again, "need I read the hospital report out on the day we found you?"

"_You mean when Mikasa found me_."

"Hospital report," I question, "I thought my file said I was Malnourished and that I had an acute case of Hypothermia because it was during the middle of December when I ran away?"

"That's – that isn't the only reason we took you to the hospital Sasha," Papa seemed hesitant as he looked down – no longer looking like the man I've come to know as the one who simply observed and cared for me – no this man looked broken in a way as he looked up, "you were abused – sexually – and it took awhile to bring you back from the trauma of it."

"Is this a joke," I ask trying to smile – even though I feel my heart drift down to my stomach with the weight of reality falling on me.

"Abuse of any kind is nothing to joke about," Papa frowned as he looked at me – studied me with his doctor persona.

"I don't remember," I answer honestly even though I feel like the barrier I've created to separate then and now thin out.

"That's because you suppressed it – you've suppressed it to the point that hypo therapy wouldn't work – do you remember Doctor Hilreguard – he tried for seven weeks with no progress."

I vaguely remember the nice man who would dangle a medallion in front of my face as I kept my focus on Papa.

"So the things that I don't remember – that I've blocked out are due to the trauma the – uh," I pause as I swallow thickly as a hint of my old accent resurfacing, "the abuse caused?"

"That would be it."

I just nod my head not knowing what to say – it makes sense even if I can't or simply don't want to remember.

"Was that why you and Mama were hesitant on adopting me?"

"No," Papa answered simply, "we were worried about your health and where you were at physiologically before the decision was made to adopt you dear – we loved you the moment we saw you never doubt that – we were just concerned for you the abuse you endured had nothing to do with our choice."

"Okay," I sigh before smiling, "that is good to know then."

"I'm sorry," Papa mused after a moment, "I didn't mean to shock or surprise you this way I just – I've been trying to find a way to tell you for years but your mother kept saying it wasn't the right time – and I've come to realize it never it but you needed to know dear."

"I uh – I understand."

"Is there any resentment or hatred you feel towards your mother and I?"

"No," the slowness of my answer is there but I just shake my head, "I mean it is a lot to take it – but I don't remember it even now so I mean I don't hate or resent you for telling me or from Mama who kept it from me to – you guys did it to protect me right?"

"_More like Mama did,_" but I don't have the heart to say that.

"I – well yes it was to protect you."

I nod my head.

"So are we done here?"

"If that is what you want, yes."

"Okay," I answer as I yawn, "I think I could use more sleep."

"Alright dear," Papa smiles sadly before glancing down at the floor, "oh before you go I have something for you that was suppose to go in the box."

"Hmm," I hum out as I look at Papa as he stands and walks over to me – I don't see what is in his hand but the smile on his face is sincere.

"The old woman who ran the orphanage said this was your Christmas present back when you were five – that you got it three days before you ran away, " he places a wore out stuffed animal – a brown wolf – in my hands, "she said it was from an older boy named Charlie."

I look at the stuffed animal – a heaviness sets in the pit of my stomach – as dread wraps it's lovely little arms around me.

"_**You were always his favorite**_," the words ring out loud and clear ,"_**his favorite little Sasha**_."

I swallow the bile rising in my throat – unyielding and cruel – as the room begins to feel smaller.

"Sasha," I hear Papa call out to me – he sounds distant, "Sasha," he calls again, "Sasha."

"_**His favorite – his favorite – Little Sasha is his favorite!**_"

My heart is hammering as fear touches my senses my body shaking as my chest rises and falls rapidly – I can't breathe I'm trying to breathe but I can't.

The room gets smaller still – I'm seeing spots – the room is spinning as words echo in my mind and a face of a young boy – teenager – with short brown hair smiles at me.

"_Sasha it'll be okay._"

"_Sasha you know that I love you_."

"_Sasha it won't hurt I promise_."

"_You know you're my favorite girl right, Sasha?"_

"_**His favorite – his favorite – Little Sasha is his favorite**_**!**"

"Sasha, come back," a soft familiar voice whispers to me in my ear, "come back to me."

"_Mikasa_," I think lamely as I try to gain focus.

"That's it," the voice calls again, "breathe with me – inhale a breath and then exhale – you almost have it."

I close my eyes a moment – getting a feel of where I'm at – I'm sitting upright my back is pressed to someone's front and there is a hand firmly pressed on my front.

"Breathe with me," the voice – Mikasa's voice – murmurs again in my ear, "follow my breathing you almost have it I swear."

There is sorrow in her voice or worry I'm not quite sure as I open my eyes.

The room is less spinny but it doesn't sit well with me. So I close my eyes weakly focusing on how Mikasa's chest rises and falls – how her heart beat is going steadily – though I feel it pick up a few paces before slowing down.

I swallow slightly – once I feel calm enough – feeling clammy and overall tired.

Before I can voice this I feel a small prick on the outside of my thigh.

"Was that really necessary," Mikasa growls out – to Papa I assume – as she shifts me from sitting on her lap to cradling me slightly in her arms.

"She was having a Panic Attack Mikasa," Papa grunts sternly before sighing, "what I gave her should help her sleep it off – "

"But why was she screaming like that," Mikasa shouted – for the first time – as she held me closer looking down at me looking sad and confused as she wipes my bangs out of my face, "she's only screams like that when she has her nightmares."

"I'm afraid something triggered her memories – or I did," Papa mumbles again sounding distant, "I had to tell her the truth – something only your mother and I knew about."

"You did this to her," Mikasa scowls or so I assume as I try to focus on her despite the fact I begin to feel numb my senses dulling as the minutes pass by.

"I'm sorry," a voice – Papa's I think – says simply leaving the conversation at that.

The last thing I remember before succumbing to the drug Papa gave me was the sad look on Mikasa's face.

"_Please don_'_t leave me," _I thought briefly and then everything went black.

_Author's Notes_: **And end scene!**

**This probably raised more questions than answers so feel free to ask them I will explain as much as I can or am willing to admit until we get to Chapter Eight.**

**I did add some fluff or light fluff and wanted to warn everyone that we will be saying goodbye to a character next chapter, but to who are we saying goodbye to? Either way it'll be heart breaking and will push Sasha into making a questionable decision also but what?**

**That will be revealed Chapter Eight and I hoped I nailed a Panic Attack properly or how Sasha handled that situation as Grisha mentioned her sexual abuse.**

**Anyone like my brief mention of Erwin, Hanji and Rivai ( come on everyone should know who Rivai is and as to why that name doesn't feel right to Sasha.)**

**As for everything else I'll see you in Chapter Eight – you'll have to wait a few days though for it.**

**Review appreciation time:**

**Sonic2196: I was surprised also – but then again as I was typing chapter Five I had a starter on chapter Six and was equally happy and shocked that I finished it so fast – as for this chapter it took some time – a lot of time because I tried to work the words right and the reaction to some of the truth. I hope you found some joy this chapter though.**

**Soi Yo: Last chapter was nice and not a lot of people like Annie in this story, but thank you for the review!**

**CanaanAlpardForever: Mate, that was a tribute for you so I'm glad you enjoyed it – their won't be fluff for a few more chapters, but when their will be it will be with Ymir or Mikasa around – and Jean, Connie, Armin, Eren, Levi, Erwin, Hanji, Mina and Annie – but just not yet. I'm glad you and everyone else did enjoy it and I hope this chapter wasn't to bad?**

**Chaosrin: I just – I just love you – this is because you are always spot on with your reviews and you point things out that not a lot of people do which makes me feel relieved because nothing goes unnoticed. As for this chapter I hope it wasn't to bad for you or to anyone really as we begin to understand Sasha more – or to understand when she will use that superhuman strength, just not yet – though it will show next chapter and then sometime down the road again it will be mentioned.**

**M: I am pleased to know this and sorry if this chapter was terrible for you. - bows to show thanks -**

**RyuravenFox: I do have plans for a Sasha x Annie spar – along with a Mikasa x Sasha spar so that will happen I promise! As for the date plans they will be mentioned Chapter Eight – I hadn't mentioned them yet because next chapter is suppose to start out sweet and end up tragic – despite the knowledge Sasha has gained this chapter.**

**JonWithAnH: I think I mentioned the method to Annie's madness to you briefly – and as for Connie well he is a lovable dummy head! Haha, Sasha does keep a lot to herself and it is hard for her to ask for help which is why Ymir doesn't know about Annie being an asshole or about the other nude Annie sent Sasha. Ymir would rip her head off and I need things to play out the way I see them – thank you man for the review and chats that I forget to respond to!**

**Anak7: A lot of people hate Annie and will love her in the end – for now she will be hated a lot. As for everything against Sasha – the worst hasn't happened yet.**

**Guest One: Mikasa knows of the bite mark – Sasha mentions it when they pick her up – I do believe or at least I think I mentioned that – as for the tension it'll be like that for a while – thank you for your review by the way!**

**Rosiema: Yes Connie left it open and out there for the world to see – aha and I'm glad I wanted a chapter for everyone to feel happy because of all the feels I'll be releasing with this chapter and the chapter to follow- thank you for sticking with me thus far though.**

**Tamahiko Mikoshiba: Mikasa is clueless to this – and her relationship to Annie isn't as it seems – so yeah aha, but thank you if Mikasa knew of this there would be one hell of a fight on Annie's hands but then again Sasha hasn't exactly gotten her backbone yet. C:**

**RED TIGER SKUNK: I had light fluff before everything going down hill for Sasha if that counts? And it is fitting because it makes Ymir more dorky and lovable with awkward boners :D**

**Guest 2: The glorious Mikasasha will come all in good time I still have a plot to play out before steamy smut and fall out before feelings are revealed and yes. Thank you my silent reading friend. **

**Anyways thank you all for the views – we're over 2,500 now! - reviews, follows and favorites you guys are amazing and I'm grateful to have you.**

**Everyone knows that I don't own the show – just this random plot to get my lovely girls together somehow.**

**Cap'n Lynn is sailing off now leaving my love for you guys,**

**P.s I still make mistakes I'll go over them when I can – thank you for reading thus far.**


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